Life — October 20, 1921 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

with the men who murdered Car- ranza, so therefore I wouldn’t have nothing to do with you,’ y’under- stand, then that would be the every- day meaning of the word ‘recog- nize’ according to the English language as used in the pants business, Blintz. But when this here Obregon, instead of coming himself, sends an ambassador to Mr. Hughes and says he wants to be recognized as the President of the Republic of Mexico, y’under- stand, then that’s something else again. ! It practically means that this here Obre- rey gon don’t want to be recognized in the old-fashioned meaning of the word as the friend of this here Villa, but he wants to be mistaken for a genwine president of a genwine republic, like President Harding or the President of France.” “Well, all I can say is when a criminal like Villa who was in the murdering business, not as a retailer or a jobber, but as a wholesaler in gross lots, gets pensioned off by Mexico with a couple of hundred square miles of high grade real estate and a big income for life, y’understand, anyone who could recognize the man who runs such a country for the genwine president of a genwine republic could meet Lenine and Trotsky in broad daylight and mistake them for John D. Rockafellar and Otto H. Kahn,” Blintz said. “Then you think before Mr. Hughes recognizes this here Obregon as President of Mexico, he should ought to insist that Mexico gets a grand jury to indict this here Villa and have him tried and sentenced to be electrocuted and have LIFg: the sentence carried out and everything?” Fishbein asked, “IT wouldn’t go so far as to say that Mexico should put herself to all that trouble and expense, Fishbein,” Blin, replied. “Whatever is the cheapest way for Mexico to it would be sufficient for me, Fishbein, because just so sur as Mexico don’t do it, y’understand, this here Villa wil begin to figure sooner or later that by committing a coup of hundred more murders, under- stand me, he could get his pension increased to four hundred — square miles of real es- tate and twice as big an income, y'understand, and he will oser worry his head if he earns it by in- cluding a few American sitsons 6 among his mur- ders. The consequence will be that when that happei Fishbein, Mr. Hughes will have to say to this here Obreg that a big mistake was made in the fall of 1921, becauy when Mr. Hughes ‘recognized’ him, he thought he didn’ recognize him, but now that a few more Americans have been murdered, he does recognize him, and therefore he couldn’t ‘recognize’ him no longer.” “And even if Mr. Hughes should recognize Obregon be. fore this here Disarmament Conference is pulled off, | wouldn’t recommend that the Mexican delegates gets at. mitted to it,” Fishbein concluded, “because if a Mexican should ever reach the point where he disarmed, Blintz, it would only mean that by accident, he changed his clothe; and left his pistol in the hip pocket of his other pants.” The Crystal Slipper Revamped A Modern Fairy Tale “T will bring you an evening gown LLA CINDER, because of the lack of men during the war, became a street cleaner. Her wages were only $50 a week and all this was needed to keep her two very ugly sisters in silk stockings and movie ticke She will- ingly gave up all her money to them go. because, with men so scarce, they could at midnight. hardly hope to capture any without a special drive. So the poor girl spent her evenings at home, with no amuse- an’ evrything,” he said. shall go to the ball!” he returned with a complete outfit and a black-and-white taxicab., “One word of warning,” he said as he turned to “You must leave the ball promptly The clothes these days are so shoddy and the dances so con- tortious that I fear your beautiful gar- ments will not last more than a few At the first stroke of midnight Ell fled precipitately, leaving behind only a print of her right thumb on a paper nankin. She flew home at full speed her experience in the White Wing) squad standing her in good stead. The President of the Irish Republic did everything in his power to find her, taking thumb prints of many thousands of young ladies, including her ugly sisters. The police are now trying to “And you In half an hour ments except old motion picture maga- zines collected during the day. On Saturday evening, after her sis- ters had gone to the Socialists’ Ball in honor of the President of the Irish Re- public, a knock sounded on her door. It was her fairy godmother, the Rev- erend J. Smythe-Browne, on his nightly slumming tour. She poured out her soul ; he drank it in greedily. It was good material for next Sunday’s philippic. The Reverend J. Smythe-Browne saw at once that she was Starving for Beauty. hours.” She promised to obey him and he departed. At the ball she was a succés fou. The President of the Irish Republic danced with her twice and sat out three dances reading extracts of Sinn Fein propaganda to her. The two sisters, who did not recognize her in her finery, had to content themselves with some of the lesser officials of the Irish Re- public and some stray minor poets who were seeking inspiration from a punch- less bowl of punch. locate the driver of the mysterious taxi and arrests are expected almost any month, But their search will be is vain, for Ella, at last conscious of her real beauty, has fled to Los Ange! where she is now a vamp with a motio picture firm. .,. Meanwhile, the Reverend J. Smythe: Browne is having a hard time trying 1) explain to his wife certain mysterio bills for ladies’ garments, W, Werner. comicbooks.com