Life — October 13, 1921 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Sanctum Talk “ ‘OP o’ the mornin’, Lire.” “Why, hello, Sefior De Valera. What can’t I do for you this fine morn- ing?” “I just dropped in to ask you what you think of the crimp I’ve put into the British Empire.” “Fair, fair. But you are too modest. You asked for so little.” “Why, I thought—” “Don’t misunderstand me, Seftor. I am not criticising you; we're all human and lixely to weaken; you must have got nervous at the last moment and—” “But what more could I ask for, “My dear Hidalgo. How can you! You know, like yourself, I was born in New York City, and the hayseed has been shampooed out of me long ago. ‘What more?’ Ha!” “You forget that we have insisted that Ireland should have the privilege of making war against England at any time without any interference. Isn’t that pretty fair for a foreigner like me?” “And also of making an alliance with anybody else you select—put that in also. . . . Well, Sefior, haven’t you been doing both of those things?” “What more do we want? I ask you, Lir Vhat more? While you were about it, why didn’t you ask that Ulster be utterly abolished, that nobody but Irish- men from now on be permitted to serve in Parliament; that you be made Prime Minister of England, with Lloyd George as your head butler; that the United States be formally annexed to the Irish Republic, and—” “Sacré! I hadn’t thought of that!” Unfortunately, Mother Chose the Day When Oswald Wanted to Play Football LIF®E “T can think of a lot more: you might put Bernard Shaw in as President of the United States; why don’t you ask Japan to present you with her navy ?— you might have Smuts as your second man. You—” “Don’t! You make me feel some- thing awful.” “My dear fellow, don’t feel badly just because you lost your nerve.” ~ “T'll go back and revise my demands at once.” “Good! Move Westminster Abbey, Windsor Castle and the British Mu- seum over to Dublin and—” “Can't stop! Good-by !” “Good-by—weakling!”"— T, L. A. Those Animals NE of the difficulties about so many of the results we see is that they are brought about in such a one-sided manner. For example, one result we witness not only on the stage but on the screen is the apparent cruelty im- posed upon animals by training them to do tricks. There is always a dispute as to how much cruelty is actually prac- ticed. Recently in London the matter has been up in court; the outcome is still in doubt. In the meantime, the principal parties to the whole procedure—namely, the animals—have nothing to say about it. They cannot cast a vote. That is generally true of the victims. Child laborers, animals, all those unfor- tunates who are exploited for commer- cial purposes, are not allowed to testify in their own behalf. No counsel is ap- pointed to defend them. Their judges know their business too well. Tt Pays to Advertise “Tue good deeds of the police have been minimized by the newspapers,” said Mayor John F. Hylan of New York recently, “and their mistakes have been magnified a thousandfold. Bold and brazen headlines containing misstatemcnts of facts go all over the country arid cast reflection on the name of our fair city and keep people from coming here.” Nonsense, John, those headlines spreading the reputation of the New York Police Force have been instru- mental in attracting to your fair city many of the foremost crooks of the world, Business Newtywep: Take a letter to my wife. Stenoc.: Just a minute, till I get out a soft pencil. comicbooks.com