Life — October 13, 1921 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

OS A<ANT SCISSeRS, AVL, : A Simple Privilege The young professor’s little girl had been dangerously ill and for many weeks after her recovery her mother watched every move she made. One day the little girl heaved an unusually deep sigh. “Why, Minerva, my dear,” asked the anxious’ mother, ‘ “do you feel sick?” “Oh, mother,” replied the bored Mi- nerva, heaving a sigh even deeper than the first one, “may one not even draw the breath of life without being questioned ?” —New York Sun. True to Life Customer: These grand opera records seem imperfect. There’s a sort of racket in each one heard above the sound of the music. Demonstrator: Ah, yes; one of our latest effects. , That’s the conversation in the boxes. Wonderfully realistic! —Boston: Transcript. PottceMAN (to loiterer): Come, move on there. If everybody stood still in the one place, how could the others get past? —Bulletin (Sydney). “Oh, no, sir, “Tell me, Mary, would you mind serv- ing us dinner out on the lawn? I'd love it. remind me of the time when I used to look after the cows.” —Le Rire (Paris). Beginner’s Luck An ardent angler took a friend fishing, The friend knew nothing about the gentle art, but was set up with all the necessary tackle, and a nice, comfortable seat on the bank. The experienced hand started fishing a few yards higher up the stream. Presently the novice said: “How much do those red things cost?” “T suppose you mean the float?” said the angler. “That only costs about twopence.” “Well, I owe you twopence,” said the novice. “The one you lent me has sunk.” —Tit-Bits (London). The Everlasting Bonfire A colored citizen of Oakland was re- cently asked by another colored gent ii he knew how hot hell was. “Does 1?” was the reply. “Ah suah do, suh. Des’ take all de wood in Maine, all de coal in Penn- syltucky an’ all de oil in Cal’forny an’ set m afiah. Den take a man out’n hell an’ th’ow him in de ‘middle ob de mess, an’ dat man would freeze to deff. Dat’s how hot hell am.”—San Francisco Chronicle. A MAN can be as patient as Job and still get pretty mad when breakfast is delayed while the cook stops to look up what her last night’s dream means in the dream book.—Kansas City Star. It would Lire. is published every Thursday, simultaneously in the United States, Great Britain, Canada and Briti mn: Title registered in U. S. Patent Office, $5.00 a_vear nal postage to foreign countries in the Postal Union, E numbers cannot be supplied. The text and illustrations in Lire are copyrighted. in Great Britain apply to Lire, Rolls House, Breams Buildings, Fetter Lane, London, E. C., England. The foreign trade supplied fom Lire’s London Office, Rolls House, Breams Buildings, London, E. ‘anadian distributor, J. R. Tanguay, 386-388 St. James Street,’ Montreal, Canada, No contributions will be returned unless accompanied by stamped and addressed envelope. Lire does not hold itself responsible for the loss or non-return of unsolicited contributions. Notice of change of address should reach this office two weeks prior to the date of issue to be affected. The LAMP with the CLAMP It CLAMPS Everywhere 3 It STANDS Anywhere re Adjusto-Jite Reg. U. 8. Pat. Off. TH lamp of a thousand practical uses. Clamps—stands —hangs—anywhere and everywhere. All the light you need where and when you need it. Prevents eye strain— reduces light bills. No other lighting device like it. Solid brass; handsome, durable and compact, Clamp is felt-lined—can't scratch. Guaranteed 5 five years, Complete with 8-ft. cord and plug Get an Adjusto-Lite today. If your dealer doesn’t carry it, order. direct. S. W. FARBER 141-151 So. Fifth Street, Brooklyn, N. Y. Prices in U. S. A., complete with 8-foot cord, and socket, Brush Brass finished zine: Status Bronze or Nickel finish $5.50. West of Mississippi, prices 25c ber lamp higher. “When Earth’s last picture is painted And the tubes are twisted and dried, . «+... We shall rest,” But until that time expects to have the newest, brightest, most amusing pictures and text each week, the whole year round. To cultivate the habit of smiling and facing the future bravely, read LIFE with its sure laugh in every issue. Try it yourself for a year, or Obey That Impulse, and, for a trial trip, avail yourself of our Special Offer Enclosed find One Dollar (Canadian $1.20, Foreign $1.40). Send Lire for the next ten weeks to Open only to new subscribers; no subscriptions renewed at this rate. LIFE, 598 Madison Avenue, New York One Year $5 Canadian $5.80 Foreign $6.60 58 comicbooks.com