Life — September 22, 1921 — page 27: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

September 22 A Sermon IX days a week the Devil works— S Works overtime on Sunday, And then he’s ready once again To start anew on Monday. So if all evil you would shun And keep your conscience level, You must begin at early morn And work just like the Devil. M. Beall. Questionnaire NSURANCE ADJUSTER (to vic- tim of fire and insurance company) : Why You did you set fire to this house? idn't? Preposterous! The fact that you had it insured shows pre- meditation. If you didn’t know there was to be a fire why did you stay home as usual? This looks bad, awfully bad. You weren't home, eh? Ah ha You fired the house and then sneaked out, eh? \Ve'll get a conviction on that ad- mission, sure. Let me look at your hands. Show me your tonsils. Do you keep a cow? The cow is dry? Why don't you give her a drink? You mean she doesn’t give milk now, ch? Did you noti the company when the cow was think- ing of going dry so t we could wked on our special rider No. XQi2402 permitting her to do so? You ed with this cow to increasé the Think of the terribly in- creased possibility of fire and loss of life, and not a drop of milk on the place! This is criminal! have cons} first hazard. How old are you? Sixty? You der, but I think you're younger. wear whiskers. Did you obtain permit from the company cov- lis extra hazard? What do you to do with the money we don't look You specia erin inter inten! to give you? Have any of your present wife’s former husbands or their wives had any fires of which you know nothing? Why? If you answer in the negative, state when. Why did you not insure in some other company? You are guilty of (almost) obtaining money under pretenses, arson, disturb- ing the peace and perjury. However, in the spirit of magnanim- ity ich has made our company fa mous, if you will pay your premiums prot false nly and regularly as in the past, we will solemnly covenant and agree to Ici this matter run along just as though there had heen no fire. E evil that men do liv them’—and, what is more, their heirs have to pay considerable inheritance taxes on it, Wall Street W LL STREET is bounded on the north by the Coolidge Farm, on the east by the three-mile limit, on the south by the Congressional Unre- serve Budget Lack-of-System, and on the west by Henry Ford. It is subject to violent extremes of heat and cold, swept by hot air Senatorial siroccos, and its gilt-edged and rock-bound coast line is covered with the wreckage of Napoleons of finance, who have not heeded the storm signals or the cry of “brokers ahead.” Bulls and bear range at will over its more fertile 25 plains, seeking whom they may devour and usually finding them, Those who survive its severe climate take no exer- cise except twice a year when they move crops, and live mostly upon lamb and The banks of Wall Street are very high and steep and troubled with floating bonds; its wate pools are infested with sharks. mint sauce. and deep visit to passport velers contemplating a Wall Street should from Mr. Rockefeller, Mr. Morgan or Mr. Gary; should light asbestos clothing and leave all their secure a wed they values behind. “But, my dear Henry, it was only a thousand and I charged it to our ac- count. After all, what is a thousand to people who owe as much as we do?” comicbooks.com