Life, 1921-09-22 · page 23 of 34
Life — September 22, 1921 — page 23: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three distinct pieces of satirical content: **"To a Lady Doctor"** (poem): A romantic poem mocking a female physician. The speaker praises her medical competence with technical terminology (bronchitis, parotitis, etc.) but ultimately claims his real ailment is lovesickness—he needs her to prescribe marriage, complete with "banns," "parsons," "bridesmaids," and "ushers." The satire targets both the novelty of female doctors in this era and the persistence of romantic sentimentality. **"Reward"** (illustrated story): Soldiers find and befriend a stray dog, then attach a can to its tail and chase it for "sport." The moral condemnation is implicit—the story presents this cruelty as entertainment, highlighting callous military behavior. **"Be Your Own Mousetrap"**: A humorous anecdote where a frightened woman, unable to catch a mouse with her slippers, simply meows from bed—apparently effective. **The political dialogue** at bottom appears unrelated commentary on a mayoral candidate who opens meetings with prayer, suggesting skepticism about reformers' sincerity.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
September 22 To a Lady Doctor \DAM, I've seen you laying low The wild, intractable bronchitis; Fierce morbilli you’ve forced to go, And devastating parotitis! you hordeolum flees, you could give a For stemming the intricacies Of complicated epistax Mayhap your practiced skill disdains The milder ills we call neuralgic, But, though you conquer subtle pains, Otalgic, ay! and odontalgic, And though your art may be displayed In curbing rapid ecchymos My case is one in which you've made An inefficient diagnosis ! Whene’er your culapian lore You exercise in my direction, You seem to utterly ignore My fervent cardiacal action, And only you can cure it, miss, Or give relief in any measure; A neat prescription, such as this, I'd take with something more than pleasure: As, “Recipe; Infus. amor Of banns 3; or license single; Of parsons 1; of bridesmaids 4; Of ushers 6; together mingle. Then drop in speeches till they're done, \nd, as the marriage takes to starting, Of trunks a heap; a carriage 1; -\nd agua ad—the tears at parting!” La Touche Hancock. Reward Fido! Come, nice dog- gie. \nd the little lost dog’s heart thrills at the thought of a friend, a playmate and—a master. Through his dog head faithful hopes of heroic deeds guarding this master from danger. Ilis little red tongue shoots out in af- iectionate caress as he licks the hand of his newly found friend. He wags his tail until he wriggles all the way up to his shoulders. “Come, fellers. some sport.” The men whirl Get a can. Here’s gather ‘round. ‘More friends!” His excitement knows no bounds. Past hardships are forgotten. The little tail goes so fast that the burly fellow can hardly fix the thing to it. And the little lost dog pays joyous court to each of the men stooping around him, a pomesbte MoM Ter + Sandy McTavish Finds a Place to Practice A kick, a yelp, a hollow roar of jeer- ing laughter, and the little stray pup is off in frantic leaps through a cloud of dust. “A rotten “musement for grown- up men!” mutters the tall, clean cor- poral as he comes out of his tent. The little dog crosses the drill grounds, stopping now and then to bite at the horrible pursuing monster that clings to his tail. Straight for the road he rushes. A scream from the colonel’s wife, and the truck driver snatches his steering wheel. Too late! William Robertson. Be Your Own Mousetrap A timid young lady awoke one night and heard a mouse in her room. First one slipper was hurled mouseward and then the other, but she succeeded in stopping the noise only a short time. Terrified, she wondered what to do next. She sat up in bed and meowed. Tue HEELER: son, them reformers’ candidate f'r Mayor, is goin’ t’ have all his meetin’s opened with prayer. Tue Boss: Good! knows he’s licked! Well, I see that Jimp- That means he comicbooks.com