Life — August 11, 1921 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

F Congress is going to decline the bonus, here’s the correct way to do it: Bonus, bona, bonum, etc. * * A hot weather dish for the social climber: assorted cold cuts. a handicap that starts from scratch. x ok If pity is akin to love, it is probably just a sob-sister. A chap with a touch of ivy poisoning has All great movements take time. The In- ternational Reform Bureau will have stopped all fights in Rickard’s Arena by the middle of next December. * * * Those who think with E. W. * * * The trouble with patent medi- | cines is that the patient ex- | pires before the patent. 1s | A parrot in Boston has been taught to sing Irish Ballads— | News Item. | A veritable John Macawmack, | in fact. * ok x All safety matches are hard to light, including the Scandi- navian, * 4 * Let us have peace on earth and good will toward Germany, Ireland and Russia. America, France, England and Japan do not matter. x ok * The fairly Reverend Dr. Straton says that the late prize fight was “a moral carbuncle on the body politic.” He evidently regards himself as a new serum. +e & Secret naval plans which the Secret Service thought had been stolen by spies during the war have been found in for- mer Secretary Daniels’ desk. If they keep on looking the searchers may discover an Eagle boat. ee The rattle that warned folks from .stepping on snakes now a-makin’ prutty poor headway uv it. a-cluckin’ an’ a-cluckin’, but the old roan never done better’n a jog an’ Milt wuz skeered he wouldn’t ketch the train. past the Meetin’ House, Parson Alden wuz a “Woe to the fast livers,” it an’ Wall, ‘twas much as ever holdin’ forth full tilt. he yells, an’ by stopped in his tracks. they gut thar. Milt said he’d uv driv’ round tother road ef he’d a knowed the old plug wuz a-goin’ to git religion. Local Gossip Last Sunday Milt Hooper wuz takin’ a summer boarder to the seven-thurty train, an’ he wuz Gosh! the roan heard (To be continued in our next) Milt kep’ When they wuz goin’ Howe that Einstein’s theory is “all bosh” should not forget that it takes as much genius to invent a lie of that magnitude as to discover a new truth. * ok Ok Recent statistics from Detroit show that Henry Ford is mak- ing more jitneys per day than the Philadelphia mint. x Ok Ok Speaking at a recent dinner in London, Ambassador Harvey is reported as having “referred to the fact that he and Sir Theodore Cook had _ been friends for a matter of twen- ty-five years.” The world’s long-distance en- durance record remains in England! x * ok It is understood that the Prin- cess Fatima, daughter of the Sultan, who recently visited these shores, was greatly pleased by her reception. She saw her name on practi- cally every signboard in New York. * ok x The various currents of the North Sea are now being tracked by means of sealed bottles. So are the various raisins of North America. * * * There are getting to be more stops them from buying sec- ond-hand flivvers. * * * The meek may inherit the earth, but the rich will go and lease all the 18-hole golf courses. * OK Ok “There is a special objection right now to the light gray silk hose which the girls are wear- ing.”—News Item. Objection overruled! A good many things are easier said than done—including the marriage ritual. * * Still, society has yet to introduce us to a case of divorce at first sight. * oe If the All-Irish Parliament becomes a fact, can North and South Ireland agree on the movie rights? and more sour notes in the concert of nations. x ok Ok A little Yap is a dangerous thing. x ok * Light Lyric O* since my darling dark-eyed Flo Has gone and dyed her hair She does not seem the same—although I think she’s pretty fair. comicbooks.com