Life — July 28, 1921 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

VERY normal man has two great ambitions. First, to own his home. Second, to own a car to get away from his home. * * * If classic dancing: is the poetry of motion, then the toddle is the poetry of commotion. +5 * “Tramps, women of leisure and the idle rich should all be made to realize that America includes work in her world of values.” —New York World. What about Senators? 4 & Lips that touch liquor never tell where they got it. ee Commuters Must Put Their Faces On Tickets—Headline. The average commuter’s face ought to be good for at least thirty days. * ok x The chaps that write our bed- room farces think depravity is the soul of wit. * oe it Drugs and toilet preparations have been discovered in tombs dating back to 1500 B.C. Soap springs eternal. *%e & Separate accommodations are provided for men and women in Madrid cinema audiences. It must be a genuine pleasure to take one’s wife to the movies in Spain. * ok * The Scriptures first taught the futility of riches, but it requires an income tax blank to drive the lesson home. x ok Ok The telephone company always gets your number right when it addresses the monthly bills. x ok Ok The American man, on an average, is taller than the Briton. Why not? Look what the American man, on an average, has to stand for. And now comes the rumor that “Ma- donna” faces are to be the fashion in beauty. Isn’t it going a bit far to expect the average woman to paint as well as the Old Masters? “You are charged with stealing the complainant’s watch!” “I only wanted the time, your Honor.” “Ninety days! That’s the time.” A Congressman will frank his mail to save his jack. * * # According to an English paper, China- men are the most honest people on earth. And, oddly enough, they are starving to death, * * * It’s the Irish wakes that keep England from sleeping o’ nights. * * * For every 100 women in the United States, says the Census Bureau, there are 104 men. These figures hold good for all parts of the country excepting summer resorts. The French never touch ice water, —Arthur Brisbane. Neither would we, if we were a free country. << ** The bad thing these days is not to be caught napping, but to be caught nipping. * * * No Irishman objects to fight- ing under British rule, pro- vided it’s the Marquis of Queensberry’s. Derk The ceremony was performed by the Rev. Dr. William G. Thayer, head master of St. Mark’s School at Groton —New York Herald. We had been laboring under the delusion that he came from Princeton University, in New Haven. * Oe Many are called, but few are wanted . . . onthe telephone. 0 oe . National greatness depends less on the number of men to the square mile than on the number of square men to the mile. * * * French military authorities have discovered that seaweed makes an excellent substitute for oats as fodder. Particularly in the Remount Division of the Horse Marines. * * * Many a man’s happiness has been eroded by a permanent wave. ee Dr. John Roach Straton described the crowd at the Dempsey-Carpentier fight as a collection of “gamblers and race- horse touts, home neglecters and baby killers, pugdog nurses, burglars, pick- pockets, liquorites, Amazons, plutocrats, profiteers, divorcees, Amalekites, double livers and polygamous movie stars.” He forgot to mention that there were also a few professional reformers in the ensemble. a ed Definition of a peacemaker:—the man who is not expected to recover. comicbooks.com