Life — May 12, 1921 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

a, is ) see cago d to ound LOCAL GOssIP =R TITTICOMB is Justice uv the Peace, and he does the heft uv the marryin’ ‘round these parts. Wall, t'other afternoon Milly Tucker and her young man come down the road and turned inter the gate, and Miss Titticomb ketched sight uv ’em and run wut to the barn to git her father. Eb wuz a-milkin’— no he wan't, he wuz pitchin’ down some hay, ef [ re- niember—wail, anyway—Eb stopped and went inter the house and put on his black coat over his overalls and went in the front room and waited, but he didn’t hear no knockin’, so he went to the front door and_ they wan't there, ner he couldn't see 'em nowhere, till he ‘ked up the road. One wuz a-goin’ south and t'other was headed fer Snake Crick Holler. Seems jest as they wuz goin’ up the walk to the front door the feller’s foot slipped in a puddle and Milly sed he'd orter wore his rubbers. He said, “ Is thet so?” nd she said considerbul an’ “If he hed any sense he'd knowed better. The upshot uv it_wuz they lit out, one one way, and t'other tother, Eb wuz a-takin’ on erbout it. He figgered they'd done him out uv at least two dollars, and Miss Titticomb said he'd oughter cleaned the walk off, not left it thet way, and ef he'd hed any sense he'd know better. (To be continued next week.) When Knighthood Is in Flower VERY once in so often his Gracious Majesty, George V, Defender of the Faith, summons to his presence a diversity of creatures. They prostrate themselves before the King and he gently taps them on the shoulder with a property sword. Therenpon they rise from their knees rejoicing that they are knights of the realm. The procedure is amazingly and con- Vincingly rehearsed in Barrie’s little masterpiece in one act, “ The Twel\e Pound Look”—and then Barrie is not a mere it; he is a Bart—and, oh! the difference to him! alf a century ago knighthood was an honor which the Prime Minister dispensed charily.. Now it seems to have been lestowed so freely and so promiscuously that it is no longer a distinction, It fact, in this twenty-second year of this twentieth century in England, knighthood és like the quality of mercy, it is not strained; it droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven upon the place beneath. It has been sprinkled over half-a-dozen music-hall managers, “ most music-hall, most melancholy.” The author of “The Manxman” is now Sir Hall Caine; and perhaps 6or the authoress of “ The Sorrows of Satan” is now Lady Marie Corelli—why not? Plainly it is to the credit of Mr. Thomas Hardy, Mr. Austin Dobson and Mr. Rudyard Kipling that they have not bowed down before these false gauds. Hardy and Dobson and kipling, by escaping knighthood, have been preserved from association with Sir Willian Denham. If the gentle reader asks who this person may be, he will wait in vain for an answer. Nobody knows who he is or what he has achieved, and nobody knows why his knighthood was thrust upon him, The hue and cry has gone out; the most expert literature detectives have camped on his trail; but as yet no one has been able to track him to his lair. He was knighted because of his services to literati and yet the British Museum contains no work warranted by his signature. The most probable explanation is that this Sir William Denham must be the mysterious and elusive Anon, who has copiously contributed to Carolyn Wells’s “ Book of Humorous Verse.’ At the latest advices London was in a state of terror, No man of letters could feel himself safe. At the next corner on the first Kk night he may be black-jacked and become a Sir, No wonder they call London the City of Dreadful Knights. BLM. Literary Love BROKE my heart because of you, my dear; I wept full many an unmanly tear— But as in agony I lay awake I thought, “ What lovely poems this will make!” Harry Kemp. A Good Rule RIEND: To what do you attribute your rapid rise in your profession? Surceos: It has been my rule all along never to perform an operation unless I was sure it would be a success either way. F a man doesn't make a fool of himself over a woman hefore he’s twenty-five he is fairly safe until he is about sixty Salesthing: Were 1s A TIE YOUR HUSBAND WOULD BF SURE TO LIKE; 1 WEAR ONE MYSELF, comicbooks.com