Life — January 27, 1921 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Life Lines Precept Upon Precept, Line Upon Line; Here a Titter and There a Titter. TALY’S deficit this year will be more than 10,000,000,000 lire, due largely to the high cost of d’Annunzio. The record-breaking number of marriages in New York City the past few months may be due to the belief that the only safe place after dark is the home. History wouldn't repeat itself if it knew its own mind. He's a wise king who has learned how to stuff a ballot box. Somehow he doesn’t appeal to us as Uncle Psalm. Plymouth Rock isn’t much of a rock, but it was a rattling good idea. We sometimes wonder how “safes” got their name. Tt was explained officially that burglars needed Christmas presents for their sweet- hearts, Wonder if the dear girls are fond of Easter flowers. mee a lltents “LIFE. One of those earnest thinkers remarks that the underworld has very taking ways. Sociologists, psychologists and criminol- ogists have come unanimously to the start- ling conclusion that epidemics of crime are caused by crime epidemics. New Jersey boasts of being long on May- flower descendants and short on Puritanical habits. If you were an American millionairess, would you rather eat eggs every day or put a European king back on his throne? Get good quick! We should say, at this writing, that per- manent peace had gotten about half a League onward. New York has become a Republican city and has also won the bantamweight cham- pionship of the world. Why despair of the metropolis? Will this fool world keep on matching minds until it goes to matching bodies again? Can it be possible that we moderns are at our wickedest when we're cold sober? What advantage is gained by Chicagoans through the reduction in restaurant prices? If you don't own an armored car you dare- n't dine out. It was not Governor Bradford of Plym- outh who put the grim in Pilgrim. He de- nounced too much water-drinking as un- healthy, At their worst, the early Puritans were only light blue. = Think what would happen if our criminal lawyers went on strike at this crisis! The trouble with the nations of the world is that they insist upon selfish determi- nation, It seems to be settled that the first step taken by the new administration will be the one-step. We're to have the strongest navy in the world. You bet the Constitution will follow the flag! Ps H. G. Wells is to devote a fortnight pres- ently to writing a complete history of the world’s literature, Is Ireland too green, Russia too red, Japan too yellow? Whatever the answer is, the United States must not be too blue. How much more moral shall we be when the Saturday-baked meats do coldly furnish forth the Sunday tables? H. G. Wells, Bernard Shaw and Henry Arthur Jones form the latest mind-matching triumvirate. Isn't it inspiring to watch the great pow- ers of the earth disarm? Germany expended $32,000,000 in for champagne. thirst. 1920 Sincere repentance begets Edward S. Van Zile, Record? OSSIP: I drank only two cups of tea this afternoon, Hostess: But you ruined three repu- tations! SASS HIND, “ou! MOTHER, WOULDN'T IT BE AWFUL IF THAT POOR THING WAS TO SEE HIMSELF IN THE GLASS?” comicbooks.com