Life — January 13, 1921 — page 32: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

76 “LIFE FO OL! 6 7” CONTEMPO ARIES |& ; : EGYPTIAN DEITIES “The Utmost in Cigarettes” ' Plain End or Cork Tip Her Way When I would fling my work aside And flirt with her, my lovely Lizzie, To some dashed household job she's tied. “Don't intecrupt me, dear. I'm busy.” But when I try to concentrate On some deco problem of the nation And keep a watch on Thought’s front gate, That is ber night for conversation. People of culture and refinement invariably She brings her sewing in and talks PREFER ‘Deities to any other cigarette Till her poor harried slave is dizzy. Then suddenly to bed she stalks: “ Good-night. Don't work too hard.” That's Lizzie / Mi te : —A. W. Knibb, in Sydney Bulletin, aN al : , { i i ee { any | A bail ‘atte bi steak a Ue vvvvvevw~wvvvvvvvvvvvv~vvwvwvwwwyy: ‘ a Ducoaaged AY LRTI) AE I “ Did ye hear that our local weather fore- caster is tryin’ to get transferred?” “No, | didn't, What's the trouble?” “He says the climate doesn’t agree with him."—Boston Transcript. Micnican is classing baby rattles as athletic equipment. This is another indica- tion that we are complacently regarding our selves as a race of giants. —Baltimore American, spirin Then It’s Genuine Unless you see the name “Bayer” on tablets, you are not getting gen- uine Aspirin prescribed by physi- cians for 21 years and proved safe by millions. Always say “Bayer.” Aspirin is the trade mark of Bayer Manu- facture of Monoaceticacidester of Salicylicacid. Mouming A teacher said to his class in English composition : “Now, I wish every member of the class would write out a conversation between a srocer and one of his customers, introduc- ing some pathetic incident or reference.” Among the compositions handed in was the following: “What do you want?” asked the mer- chant. The woman replied: “A pound of Green or black?” asked the merchant. “T think I'll take black,” said she; “it’s for a funeral.""—Tit-Bits, Hear! Hear! “Ladies and gentlemen,” said the chair- man of the evening, “in a few minutes I shall introduce the gentleman who is to ad- dress you. It is not my function to deliver a speech at this time, but I shall just use up five or ten minutes so that you may know how good a speech you would have had to listen to were I the speaker and he the chair- man."—Detroit Free Press. Warning The speeders in Atchison are advised to slow up long enough to read this “sent in” in the Globe: “TI have several small chil- dren and if any of the speed maniacs in Atchison run over them I am going to shoot to kill. Nearly all small children are care- less and motorists must look out for them. Anyway they'd better look out for mine.” —Kansas Notes, in Kansas City Star. He (turned down): But, dearest, you are so different from other girls Sue: Oh, but you'll find lots of other girls different from other girls. —Tennessee Mu.pwump. Time Is Money Doctor: Your husband, madam, is mud better, He may have food—in fact, he ms have a lot of food. “Couldn't you keep him on a dict a litle longer, Doctor? Meat is so high —Le Journal Amusant (Perit). As One Humorist to Another In a preface to James J. Montague’s book More Truth Than Poet: Irvin Cobb says of him: “He is that most rare humorist who also is a humanist.” Sure | Relief = 6 BELLAN Hot water D Sure Reli¢ L= = FOR INDIGESTIO comicbooks.com