Life — December 9, 1920 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Be Honest (Questionnaire for a Man Who Wants to Be a Slap-Stick Movie Comedian) AVE. you cross eyes or any other prominent facial blem- ishes? If not, state why you feel yourself competent to be a slap-stick comedian. aye Have you ever worked in a boiler shop or b used as wad- ding in a dike during a time of flood, or been subjected to any other wear and tear which would be good training for the posi- tion you are applying for? _ How many times can you stumble over your own feet in walking across a room? State the approximate amount of your displacement, and dis- tance the displaced material is thrown when you fall in a bed of mortar. 22... : Have you any objection to losing a half-dozen or so teeth every now and then in the cause of Art? Can you flap your ears or wiggle your nos: ate some other artistic qualifications 3 you possess. Can you bounce a ten-pound shot off your cranium with case? If not, state approximate thickness and tensile strength of your skull a Have you any objection to staying under water for an hour or two when the scenario calls for it? .. so enees Have you any preference as to being kicked by horses or mules ? Which is your favorite hospital? Do you prefer ether or local anesthetics? % ath, to whom shall what remains of you be A Diplomatic Flatterer CAN'T understand,” said the tactful youth, “why you two girls are so inseparable, when one of you is so beautiful and the other is so homely.” Whereat each of the girls went home, looked in the mirror and felt sorry for her companion. His Ideal F™ THER: Have you absolutely no ambition in life, my son? Son: Yes, father. I would like to live so that when I die they will name a cigarette after me. “WHY, ROBBIE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT OU1JA BOAKD? SENDIN’ A LETTER TO SANTY CLAUS.” A CRUISE de LUXE to the /PN@ COOKS ews Mediterranean on the Palatial Floating Hotel R.M.S. “Caronia” of the Cunard Line A 49-day cruise visiting all points of interest along the Mediterranean shore. Competent representatives of Thos. Cook & Son will accompany the cruise throughout. These, aided by the experienced permanent staffs at COOK'S offices in GIBRALTAR, ALGIERS, MONACO, NAPLES, ALEXANDRIA, CAIRO, LUXOR, ATHENS, etc., will be in charge of shore arrangements. To permit of visits to CAIRO and UPPER EGYPT a full week’s stay of the ‘‘Caronia” at ALEXANDRIA is provided for. Passengers desirous of stopping over in Europe may leave the ship at NAPLES on the homeward trip and return to New York via CUNARD NORTH ATLANTIC SERVICE. Fares vary according to staterooms selected. Mini- mum $1450 inclusive. Reservations should be made immediately. THOS. COOK & SON New York Chicago Philadelphia Boston San Francisco Los Angeles Montreal Toronto VACUUM HE LA FRANCE cieaner For All According to Automobiles $10 to $1 5 Make of Cor This new and simple device cleans uphol- stery, mats, robes, top, floor and clothing in five minutes, whether on the road or at home in the garage. It saves time, labor, trouble, and costs as little proportionately A _ to operate as to buy. A Christmas Using no moving parts, only the suction ‘Suggestion created by your exhaust, to which it for Motorists attaches instantly with the turn of a thumb- . screw, the La France can’t get out of or USEFUL It weighs less than five Ibs., and is easily ORIGINAL stowed away in any compartment of the car. INEXPENSIVE Yet with engine at little more than idling speed, it has three times the power of an ordinary cleaner. Handy, simple and gen- uinely useful, it makes an ideal Christmas gift. Sold by Automobile and Accessory Dealers. Additional Distributors wanted. FRANKLIN PRODUCTS, Inc. 1052 So. Clinton St., Syracuse, N. Y. DISTRIBUTORS few York State, including Nee York City and Long Island: Ives Jacobs, $60 S. Salina St., Syracuse, N Y. New Eryjends States: Campbell Motors Corp.,715 Beacon St., Boston, Mass. Middle West: Auto Accessories Compa: Pacific Coast: Barker Tire Co., comicbooks.com