Life, 1920-11-11 · page 18 of 44
Life — November 11, 1920 — page 18: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page showcases material rejected by Life's editors, with a note explaining their selection criteria. The page demonstrates why certain submissions were deemed unsuitable for publication despite containing humor. The content includes several satirical pieces: "Ha! Ha!" mocks Prohibition-era bartenders posing as soda fountains; "Social Amenities" presents darkly comic one-liners (including an uncomfortable joke about Bolshevism); "A Symphony of Love" parodies overwrought romantic prose through musical metaphors. The editorial note clarifies that rejected material isn't necessarily poor quality—editors reject pieces for various reasons: weak literary execution, defects incompatible with the magazine's standards, or simply editorial discretion. Notably, Life paid for rejected submissions and acknowledged that some rejected contributors later became highly valued. The page functioned as both entertainment and editorial transparency, allowing readers insight into magazine gatekeeping while maintaining humorous content standards.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
(Note: Ha! Hal HE scene is a smart ice-cream and soda store. The counter-man is an ex-bar- tender, He is pictured with a prominent red nose and any other features which de- note excessive agquaintance with things alcoholic. On the wall there is a sign which reads as follows: “Our Sopa-Fouxtatn DerartMENT Is Conpucteo By ax Eminent Srectatts Marie (looking at sign): Dearie, I won- der where the dispenser got his degree Hervert: From outward appearances, I am tempted to believe, in the College of the Booze Art. Social Amenities GAD an affable Bolshie of Kiev To his partner while dancing one eve: “To your family, ma’am, No stranger I am; I slaughtered your son, I believe.” A Symphony of Love “Her voice was like the G string of an_old_ Strad..—Harold MacGrath, in “The Pagan Madonna.” UBREY!" she are the world to me.” Clarice!" he murmured, and his voice was like the low D of a bass drum. Then she spied the villain watching them from the wings, with an eye as piercing as a soprano’s high C when she fails to hit the note in the middle. Her voice tinkled like the eternal triangle. “My God!" she squeaked, like a pair of new shoes at a quiet wedding. Her gaze hardened, and her voice came back to normalcy, even as the first oboe. tambourined, “ You mA = Sey. Rae mmm) -Zar a Rejection Page The contributions on this page have been rejected) “ Leave snarled misbly. The villain slunk away like a tenor falling from pitch. Clarice turned to Aubrey, and pursed her lips as if about to play the oca- rina, “M he faltered, his voice breaking like an overmoist trombone. And so they were married. us!" she snaredrum- darling As to This Page Lire has received inquiries as to whether the material in this page has actually been rejected by the editors or not. The answer is: Yes- ith certain qualifications There is often a difference of opinion among readers as to what constitutes a joke or as to the value of a particular idea. A manuscript is often “ funny” when lacking in literary nique; or it may be amusing and yet have certain other defects which r it unavail- able for the main body of the paper, and for which the editor does not care to hold himself responsible. And finally it may be really good, but, after dis- cussion, rejected for “any one of a number of reasons.” In rare instances, material already accepted and paid for has been included here, but these cases are exceptional. It goes without saying that all this rejected material is paid for, and that there is not necessarily any measure of ignominy attached to its inclusion here. Indeed, some of Lire’s most highly valued contributors thus honored us. The: Right Answer RS, NINKUM (who doesn't know that her husband has given the maid ten- dollar stockings instead of a fifty-cont hand- kerchief): What did Mr. N. say when you thanked him? Maro (demurely): “Don't méntion it!” New Version “A TOW,” said the visiting minister, ad- dressing the Sunday school, “I am going to ask you children a question, and I want to see who can answer it first.” Eager suspense. “Who,” he paused, then added rapidly, swallowed the whale?” “Jonah!” shouted Johnny. Sceing the catch too late, he determined not to be out- done. “ But,” he continued, above the roar of his comrades, “the whale found the quarters too crowded and came back up. He was mad at Jonah for foolin’ him, and he turned right ‘round and swallowed Jonah. Then Jonah he cut up so the whale had to let him up, and they both went on about their own business.” Awful silence. “That,” concluded Johnny solemnly, “is all T know about it.” It Takes Brains to Understand This “DEFORE the war statesmen had some brains.” “In cerebellum days, so to speak.” Bolts RS. BARR: Henry, what are current events? Me, Bawk: Anything shocking, my deat. XASPERATED by the stupidity of a particular scholar, the teacher took a dictionary from off -her desk and, slamming it on top of his head, exclaimed. “Boy, there is more knowledge on top of your head than there ever will be in it!” ILLIE: Pa, goat. “ Quite family!” small ma won't let me keep a right; one’s enough in this