Life — October 14, 1920 — page 42: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Everything About Cuticura Soap Suggests Efficiency Ointment, Tal Sean, Otn meat. Talcum Se everrw bere. Tersamplee The Confessions of a Slacker WON'T vote for Harding because althoug'’s I have nothing against him personally—I don't like the way he was foisted upon the Republican party by a small group of serious winkers. And be- sides, all this talk about the front-porch campaign gets on my nerves. I won't vote for Cox, because he made too much noise about slush funds when he ought to have been making himself ‘ar about the issues which will be of paramount importance during the next four years, Moreover, I have had enough of the Democratic party. 1 won't vote for Debs—partly because he is linked up in my mind with Bol- shevism and all that sort of thing, but principally because he posed for his photo graph in the act of kissing the gentlemen who brought him his nomination in the Atlanta jail I won't vote for Christensen, because he is mixed up with the farmers, who are all hicks and rubes and not qualified to take any part in the government. I won't vote for Watkins, the Prohibi- tion candidate, for reasons too humorous to mention. In other words, [ cannot see my way clear to voting for any of the candidates Don’t Ask Why but try it ©. HE. EVANS & 50 K NOWLEDGE 320 Pages ILLUSTRATED Cloth Every young wo mal $1.00 What every young The Best Oil is Cheapest There's not much difference in price between ordinary oils and Havoline Oil—but there's areal difference in service. It will pay you to ask for your grade of Havoline—the oil that heat wont break up. It protects and preserves your motor, Get it in its sealed containers. INDIAN REFINING COMPANY lacorporated NEW YORK An independent company that prodaces ‘and refines its own petroleum HAVOLINE OIL Las “It makes None of them measures up to the stand ards which IT would set for the Chi Magistrate of this great Republic, and whoever is elected is certain to make a mess of the job, Therefore, on election day, I shall stay at home and read Sir Thomas More's Utopia. I can thus rest secure in the knowledge that, even if the country does go to pieces, it won't be my fault. R. E, Sherwood. A Matter of Choice HE writer (author, poet, essayist, play- wright, journalist, litterateur, serib- bler, reporter, representative-of-the-press, adjectiv rker, ink-slinger, publicist or penny-a-liner) who uses (employs, re- sorts to, utilizers, puts to .work, wields, manipulates, avails himself of, profits by, calls into play, applies ‘or falls back upon) a Thesaurus (dictionary, lexicon, index, glossary, gradus, delectus or concordance) should be a person (man, woman, boy, You would not have had to stay awake last night with that dry cough if you had taken KEMPS BALSAM Just enough to moisten the throat will stop that iri- tating tickle. Get a bottle to day from your drug- Postpaid Bvery young wife Mailed be What every parent should know plain wrapper Table contents AMERICAN PUB. CO. 1086 Wieston Bide. Philadelphia girl, child [?], individual, creature, mor- tal or human being) of quick decision! “nao we a comicbooks Benml PETER J. CAREY, PRINTER