Life, 1920-09-02 · page 13 of 52
Life — September 2, 1920 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three distinct pieces: a poem "A Long-Merited Toast" by Stanley K. Hoglund celebrating a stenographer's competence and loyalty; a quiz section titled "The Paths of Glory" testing readers' knowledge of American political and cultural figures (Wilson's cabinet members, Roosevelt's vice president, poets, etc.); and a brief humorous exchange called "So Say We!" where characters named Biggs and Diggs debate whether carrying large sums of money is dangerous. The central illustration depicts a man and child in a wooded setting with the caption about watching someone drown worms—a visual gag disconnected from surrounding text. The page reflects early 20th-century concerns: workplace loyalty, civic knowledge, and everyday anxieties about money and safety.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A Long-Merited Toast USED to toast the royal queens And queens of beauty rare; I drained my glass to lovely lass And to her eyes and hair But in these days of sober drinks. There’s one whose health to me Means vastly more than beauty or The blood of royalty: Here's to my stenographer! Long faithful to her dut She'd win no prize for vampish eyes; Her freckles mar her beauty. Here's to her! Her specs! Her brain! I pledge her health in water! Cool, sober, st I love her |, a precious maid; like a daughter! She keeps my creditors at bay, Admitting only debtors; Collects the rent when she is sent, Or writes dry business letters; She always puts her fingers on The paper I require; Sums I can’t add she’s always glad To do, and doesn't tire. Here’s to her bonny, busy hands! They never are erratic. I hope that they will type away For years, nor grow rheumatic! Here's to her modest salary! (I'd blush if 1 should tell it!) But for her grit I'd have to quit My business—couldn’t sell it. Stanley R. Hofflund. So Say We! “YYOU know,” Biggs, the alarmist, declared impressively getting so that it is positively dangerous for a man to carry around a good-sized roll of money.” “Difficult, rather fir Diggs sighed. confirmed than dangerous, I “The.Paths of Glory—” Some Little Memory Tests N AME, in State under President Wilson. How many other men can you name who served in President Wilson's Cabi- net? Name twelve of the pre-convention can- didates for the Republican nomination for order, the Secretaries of the presidency. Who was Vice-President of the United States under Theodore Roosevelt? What do you remember of Ole Han- What was the name of the American naval officer who commanded the hydro- plane which first crossed the Atlantic ocean? Can you name ten American poets, with five poems by each? Who wrote “ Yankee Doodle"? Can you describe briefly the work of any twenty of the famous British authors who have given lecture tours in this coun- try within the last six months? What was the full name of the man after whom the Woolworth Building was named? Who was Nickey Arnstein? How did What did he do to merit which he win fame? the oblivion subsequently de- scended upon him? To what denomination does John Roach What he be credited with? Straton belong? reforms should What is your un- derstanding of the term “vicarious in- dulgence "? Has New York city a mayor? When will she have a mayor? How many for- mer mayors of New York can you name? Kenneth Andrews. “OH, MOTHER, I HAVE BEEN WATCHING HIM FOR THE LONGEST TIME, AND HAS JUST DROWNED THREE WORMS” comicbooks.com