Life, 1920-05-13 · page 32 of 52
Life — May 13, 1920 — page 32: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three distinct satirical pieces: **Top cartoon**: "Mrs. King Arthur Wishes That Arthur Would Hang Up His Clothes" jokes about domestic nagging—a wife's timeless complaint about her husband's messiness, here applied to the legendary King Arthur. **Middle cartoon**: "Richard the Lion-Hearted Brings Home a Friend for Dinner" satirizes historical figures behaving like ordinary people with petty concerns (splitting restaurant bills), deflating their grand reputations. **Main story**: "Wives of Famous Men—Scene 3" depicts an elderly Private Fizzle dying at Fort Oglethorpe fifty years after military service, kept alive only by obsession with his discharge papers. A clerk dramatically arrives with his honorable discharge, and Fizzle dies peacefully as a civilian. The satire targets military bureaucracy's indifference to soldiers and the absurdity of discharge paperwork holding such life-or-death importance to a veteran. The humor relies on contrasting grand historical/military ideals with mundane, petty human reality.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
LIFE: Wives of Famous Men (Scene 3. A tent interior at Fort Oale- thorpe. Fifty years later.) Fizzte (he ts in bed; his long whiskers flow o' the O. D. i making a charming, albeit non-regu comforter): 1 fear 1 cannot la longer. I shall be one hundred years old to-morrow. Army life vgree with me. I am sinking fast could only have my discharge paper Nurse: Ah, Doctor, he suffers! Pur him out of his misery. Give him some army coffee. Doctor: No, it would be unct For all practical purposes he is quite cad. Fifteen minutes ago his heart sop ped beating. Only the perennial hope fo: his discharge paper keeps him conscious Fizzte (feebly): My paper. . are bringing me my discharge paper Nurse: Poor man, how he (Sounds of a galloping horse ¢ nearer... nearer... nearer. Hark, what is that?) (a field clerk in uniform bursts dramatically throug! door.) MRS, KING ARTHUR WISHES THAT ARTHUR WOULD HANG UP HIS CLOTHES Currk: Private Fizzle, No. 3036102 come from Washington—from the of the Adjutant-General. I bring to your honorable discharge paper Fizzie: My paper at last! Ah! Crexk: Your pay, to date of 6/22 '22 Fizzte: Ah! Cuerk: Your sixty dollar bonus. Fizzte: Ah! Ah! Cuerk: You are no longer a soldier. You are free to go. Fizzte: Honorably discharged at las I go happily. (He expires grace full Crerk: Phew! I made it by a Established by my dear grandfather cight rs the illuminated honc discharge of Private Fizzle was a tr tion and a symbol of our “carry « rule. To-day I had a forebodin dentally, my forebodings are invar correct. I can smell a government ir tigation twenty-four hours before thought .o propose to have one. Bei was too late, I decided to right a wrong. Throwing tradition to the I completed the discharge and I bre RICHARD THE LION-HEARTED BRINGS HOME A FRIEND FOR DINNER it to him. At least he died a civilian Doctor: No, sir, he did not. Tbe report that Private Fizzle died a gentle tradition of the department. I fear he Jenks: So? Then we shall double and a soldier, His heart stopped be never receive it. Let us make reparation, your usual fee. Private Fizzle, permit us to engage you as Fizzce (with tears of gratitude): Ah. guide. God bless you, sirs! Come—I shall con- Fizzie (eagerly) Ah, thank you, sir! duct you to the historic spot where, in twenty minutes ago. Currx: Curses! It’ was inevits But my foreboding was correct—an tried to save the government the furt am an exce t guide. ave a S| - 1918, the Cam Zor da conspil fi T am an excellent guide. I have a splen: 9 the Camp Commandant conspired expense of burying him with full mili: did line of talk. It was written for me with the merchants of Chattanooga. He poi opet by a prominent public official. They say it fought to a finish for a 60-40 split Curtain is very humorous. Curtain Henry William Hanemani comicbooks.com