Life — October 2, 1919 — page 31: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

*NO TIP,NO CLOTHES!® “LIFE: Why Not Soviets ? FTER reading about the Boston riots, Senator Myers, Democrat, of Montana, allowed in the Senate that if the Washington police were permitted to affiliate with the Ameri- can Federation of Labor, “ within sixty days the police in every city will be unionized, the next step will be union- ization of the army and navy, and the next, a soviet governmen: But, what then, Senator? You stop just at the most interesting place. What turn does the prevailing human disorder take after soviets break out? We want to know just as doctors want to know about the processes of a new plague. Never mind. You can’t tell. We shall know when we come to it. And meantime, we might as well get back to that resolve that became so much a habit to some people in the dragging years.of the war, to die if need be, but not, by Heaven! of fear. Bless you, Senator Myers, it may be as you say. We may come to soviets, but probably we won't. But if we do they won't be Russian soviets, but American—our present national mate- rial served up in a new dish And, by the way, Senator, what is a soviet, anyhow? A kind of a town- meeting thing, isn’t it? A soviet would be just the neighbors, banded together and meddling, which would be all right enough in many cases while it lasted. But on a large scale, and to deal with national interests, the thing doesn’t seem to work, so presently the soviets have to have a convention and fix up a constitution and federal gov- ernment, as our fathers did when they had gone backwards as far as was convenient by the other method. If we get to soviets, we'll get back. So don't worry, Senator, don't worry! Say your prayers; buy a gun and lock it up in the bureau drawer; any way to peace of mind. Don't worry! For if you begin, where can you stop? Look about you in the Senate. Did you notice that lately the Rome (Italy) Tribuna discovered “ that Wilson's hos- tility to Italy was a personal matter,” and urged Italians to “retain confi- dence in the American people and the American Senate”? That's right: the last clause of it. We don't worry, Senator. Like the Italians, we have confidence in the American people and the American Senate. We have confidence in you, Senator, and some of us even have confidence in Mr. Wilson. That is the way to do: have confidence in what is in sight until it goes bust, then have confidence that nature abhors a vacuum, and that there will be some- thing very shortly in the place of what busted, that will be just as good, and maybe better, or just as bad, and per- haps worse. Anybody that can have confidence in the Senate as it is, can have confidence in the soviets when they get us. Why so much choice be- tween monsters? Shall we be too proud to be their meat? Didn't the Suffragists devour us? Haven't the Pro- hibitionists consumed us? Won't Bo- rah, Johnson and Lodge rip up the League of Nations, blast the world’s hope of everlasting peace, and make us universally unpopular, just when we had hopes of being respected? Very likely, Senator, very likely! But that’s just the human life of it. The most comfortable folk seem to be the earthworms, who always have a hole to crawl into and eat dirt We can’t hope to be so comfortable as that. It docs not match our des- tiny, We have to sit up, suffer fools gladly, dodge missiles cheerfully, get food, lodging and clothes as we can, and take what comes. No machine ever will save the world; no machine ever will destroy it. A League is a machine; a soviet is another. Have confidence in both. Be scared of nei- ther. The world is not meant to be saved. It is an exercising ground for people, and when its inhabitants, one by one, have got all the mundane ex- ercise that they are entitled to, they leave it. Whether we are exercised over Senates, Leagues or soviets, doesn't really matter so awfully. When things get bad enough, they get better; they have to. And presently, we get out. W'ot t’ ‘ell, Senator, wot t’ 'ell! Let us not take life too seriously. It’s not worth it. Neither does it go better when so taken. And whatever impends, let us not die of fear! E. S. Martin. comicbooks.com