Life — February 27, 1919 — page 32: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

340 “Poor Jim asyl * said flourishing a shining razor over his customer, Who's Jim?" said the man in the y twin | sir. Jim kept brooding over the hard times, an’ I suppose he finally got crazy.” Is that so?’ “Yes, he and me worked side by side for years, and we are so alike we couldn't tell cach other apart. We both brooded a great deal, too money in this iness now,’ 4: “What's the reason? takes a shampoo, it doesn't pay to fr haircut. Poor Jim, I caught him try- to cut a customer's throat because he refused a shampoo, so 1 had to the poor fellow locked up. Makes me sad. Sometimes I feel sorry I didn't let him slash all he wanted to. It might have saved his reason. $ 00, sir? Perfectly Clear Said an Irish leader: “ Min, ve are on the verge of battle, Will yez fight or will yez run? “We will! came a chorus of cage replies. “Which will yez de ays he. “We will not,” says they, me min,” says for emergency calls at night, ia the morning,any time or place, a warm, comfortable, foot cov- ering is needed in’ a hurry Pearl leather sole, ankle high, roll-top uppers cut from whole skins, tanned with the wool on and soft against the foot; willdrycleanse. Allsizes. $3 by Parcel Post insured. Money back if dissatished. On approval by express, charges collect. S. R.S. ‘*Wooleather’” Co. Salem, Inc. Mass. WRITE A SONG— LOVE, MOTHER, home, childhood, patriotic or any subject. I compose music and guarantee ‘publication, Send words today. Thomas Merlin, 288 Reaper Block, Chicago. Outmaneuvered “A police court isn’t all gri and sordid,” remarked Judge White the other day. “ Somet happens. four was brought in after having down a nm. “*Did you know that if you struck this pedestrian he would be seriously in- jured?’ [ asked. “ Yes, sir” replied the chauffeur en why didn’t you zigzag your “He was zi ing himself and out sed me, your honor,’ was the answer.” —Pittsburg Su Something New Ixpextaten Oxe (to local professor h reputation for great knowledge) Some people think they know everything. After this had been repeated two or three times the professor replied that he had known people who thought they knew more than they did know, but that he had never met anyone who claimed to know TED Oxe: Well, I can tell you something you don’t know! My wife is your washerwoman, and I'm wearing one of your shirts.—Tit-Bits. Tangled Up “What is that string around your finger for?” “That is to remind me that I forgot something my wife tied it there for me to remember."—Baltimore American, Onsexye him now in all his pride and presuming; but there will come a time when the most fastidious and discriminat- ing connoisseur of beverages will not look a gift bottle in the cork. —N York Sun, EGYPTIA People of culture and refinement invariably PREFER_ Deities fo any other cigarette Prargyros / Gade EORGE WASHINGTON | that he could not tell a [ being the case, he was bo: that, g an annual subser Lirk, the greatest pleasure of ti cas the arrival of the Tuesdu; iny’s mail. *Wor's diy here ennui, Bill? na feller gets so lazy dat loafin’s blamed hard work.” Boston Trav E clusive Individual Selections of other hand made Pes and Slippers in stock. 12.00 om» Mailorder satisfaction a sp tally. Ca E. HAYES, Inc. Makers of Ladies’ Fine Fests 582 FIFTH AVENUE, X Est. 1878 Keeping Fit All the Way By WALTER CAMP ME. CAMP here preaches Strength, efficien 8 physical condition, and he tells him bi recover his impaired vitality and begio enjoy life, yes, and to do big things in life. Profusely IMustrated, Post 8vo, Cloth, $135 HARPER & BROTHERS NEW (Est. 1817) YORK