Life, 1918-10-03 · page 28 of 34
Life — October 3, 1918 — page 28: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several short humor pieces typical of Life's satirical format: **"Too Useful to Lose"** mocks business ethics: a merchant hires a detective to catch a criminal impersonator who's been collecting money fraudulently—but then asks to *employ* the criminal instead, valuing his profitable dishonesty over justice. **"Topographical Exactitude"** is a WWI joke: a soldier claims he was torpedoed "right under the bridge, miss," but the woman questions whether it was London Bridge or the Tower—treating a wartime casualty account as a geography quiz. **"He Was Sure"** ridicules a market vendor's contradictory confidence: he claims the chicken is tender and freshly killed, but admits he caught it yesterday—his certainty reveals his obliviousness. **"Reason Enough"** jokes about class entitlement: a wealthy man gives his chauffeur double pay "because he has a rich father"—suggesting inherited wealth justifies inflated wages. The remaining pieces use similar ironic reversals common to Life's humor formula. The page also includes advertisements, notably for a Stromberg carburetor.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Too Useful to Lose The great detective stood before the rich merchant, waiting for his instruc- “It's this way,” began the merchant “TL have been robbed of hundreds of pounds. A rascal has gone about the country pretending to be a collector of ours. He has simply coined money in a week he collected more th: travelers put together. He must found as quickly as possible. Spare no exp “Right,” said the detective,“ Within a week he will be in prison.” “Pri What do you mean?” cried the unt.“ E don't want him ar- rested ; T want to engage him -Tit-Bits Topographical Exactitude “And where were you torpedoed ?” “Well, we was struck right under the He Was Sure “ Are you sure this chicken is tender isked the customer in the market. “Yes, [ think it is, sit.” replied y market man, “And do you know that it is fre killed?” “Oh, yes, sir.” “Are you sure?” “ Positive “Why are you so positive? “Because [ caught it in- my den only yesterday, —St. Louis Post-Dis Reason Enough An extremely wealthy man sion frequently to make use of chauffeur dno more. . when he handed the tter looked it over xeuse me, sir, but your s ne twice as much as this [don't doubt it,” growled 1 man: “he has a rich father." “Windsor Mi dear! How dreadful! Now, fl { Tur we'fare worker glanced. arout tell me, was that London Bridge or the apprehensively as she entered the humite Tower? “Wind Magi i ¥ - dwelling. Are you not afraid to f / here? [do not see any fire-esesve “You held your position bravely,” said MA oe f thi w, no, miss! IT don't need one, the colonel to the kiltie. eS . returned the satisfied slum cweller “LT hae to, The mud here is so thick a “Whenever the cops come up after ¢ you can't retreat.” ae {makes my getaway over the roof” sisville Courier-Journal, LIEUTEN, ci —New York newsdealers in Great Britain and may be obt cities in the world. ‘The foreign. trad ¢ to foreign countrica in the T *nion: $ sear; don ¢ s House, Hreams Buildings, London, E. ( current copies, 10 cents, Back numbers, after three s not hold itself ticited’ contributions int Rights in Great Britain ‘Notice. of cha addtoneat >, England. issue to be ofc RY: oe New Stromberg Ca ae matter It, reeset Sree ge conduct Semen thal call for tai cone ww” a or, cond name, model and Cui eee St Cheers | croplane Picture Conte Full report of this Contest, with winning titles, and names and addresses of winners, appeared in the July 18th issue of LIFE. Copy of that number will be sent to any address on receipt of ten cents. (Canadian, 1 1cents ; Foreign, 12cents) After October 18th this number will betwenty-five cents. (Canadian, 26 cents; Foreign, 27 cent) LIFE New STROMBERG Does i 17 West 31st Street, New York CARB URETOR Back Numbers on Sale at This Off