Life, 1918-09-05 · page 22 of 34
Life — September 5, 1918 — page 22: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains satirical letters and cartoons from Life's "Some Open Letters" section, mocking public figures and social issues of the era (appears to be post-WWI, circa 1919). **The Letters:** - A mock letter to "Any Congressman" sarcastically suggests congressmen purchase "brains" as a commodity, implying they lack intelligence - To Secretary McAdoo: congratulates him on disciplining railroad employees, while ironically noting government workers feel entitled and are hard to control - To Franklin D. Roosevelt: praises his naval buildup for democracy while mocking his usual tendency to publicize his accomplishments through moral lectures **The Cartoons:** The bottom cartoon jokes about a wealthy man's death: ten doctors couldn't save him because "so many doctors around him he couldn't get air"—satirizing how excessive medical attention can be counterproductive. The other cartoon shows a military officer correcting a subordinate about terminology (stenographer vs. yeoman), a minor bureaucratic joke. The satire targets government inefficiency, wealth inequality, and self-aggrandizing politicians.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
346 The Call of the Unknown AM homesick, Iam wistful For the things I have not seen: For the rolling down of Shropshire, For the azure-changing green Of the Caribbean's waters As they kiss the tropic shore, For the white, portentous wonde- Of the ice-floe’s grinding roar! Shall T never mark the shadow Of Emperor Tsin’s Great Wall? Shall T never hear the ma Of the Jungle’s muted call? Shall I never wind the Canyon Where God's own colors glow? Tam homesick, I am wistful For the things I do not know! Ruth Lambert Some Open Letters (0 ANY CONGRESSMAN. Dear Sir: Please consider this confidential. It might hurt you got out, It has occurred to us that you might wish to take a little flier in brains, While in con- kressional circles this commodity is at present a non-essen- tial, owing to changes that are likely to take place, there is a fair prospect that brains may some time in the future acquire importance. At present they are very low, there being no demand, and the trading purely professional. If yeu would like to put in a small order for a moderate amount, delivery, It is possible that in the fall of 1919 you may need a few brains to carry you through the winter. All deliveries f. 0. b. Boston. Awaiting your advices, Cerebrally yours, y, Next year, it might be to your advantage. Lire. To Mr. McAdoo. Y DEAR MR. McADOO: Bully for you! that you are going to take time from regulating the faxes and running most of the country to getting after the government employees in the railroad service who are too much inclined to abandon the “courtesy first” idea we have now been running on for some time. Of course, you realize 's going to be a hard matter to keep those fellows lined up. A ticket agent who cannot be discharged for being insolent, and who is not working for a private industry and feels his importance as a government official, is quite a problem, And this fellow, as you know already beginning to make himself disagreeable. Let's hope you'll find some way to keep him where he belongs. We are glad Thanking you in advance, Lire. To Franklin D, Roosevelt, AR SIR: We beg leave herewith to acknowledge from you the receipt of one first-class, copper-riveted, speedy and red-blooded navy, which we understand you have been at work on for the past two years. For dusting and sweeping the seas, planting depth bombs in sub-soil and keeping the ocean zephyrs free for democracy we understand this navy “SALOME” you have been putting together is peculiarly fitted. The fact that while you were quietly and almost secretly putting it to- gether you succeeded in keeping your name out of the papers and refrained from giving highly moral Sunday-school lectures to presumably intelligent human beings on the use of Mellin’s food, is all the more to your credit. Gratefully yours, Tue Amexican Peorie, Had to Give Him Oxygen “T HEAR there were ten physicians at the multi-millionaire’s bedside just before he died.” “Yes; they had to give him oxygen.” “Why “So many doctors around him he couldn't ¢: First Officer: 1 pipn'T KNOW YOU WERE ENTITLED TO A STENOGRAPHER. “I'M Not. IT's A YEOMAN,” comicbooks.com