Life — May 16, 1918 — page 33: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A Preference UT yesterday I met a man Who to the lexicon was brother: In dipping dactyls he could sean Theocritus, or any other. He could discourse upon carth’s crust, Or on what made the dodo famou:: Than such a dreary dry-as-dust I'd rather be an ignoramus! He knew by rote each church in Rome, And he could diagnose conniptions ; He could translate a Chinese tome Or strange Assyrian inscriptions. He could dilate on surds or tracts, Or legends from the land of Shamus; Than such a facile fund of facts I'd rather be an ignoramus! Clearly could he elucidate The manners of the men of Media; All myths and marvels he could sta A peripatetic encyclopedia! He was authority on war, Could show how the cave-men might claim us; Than such a knowledge-reservoir I'd rather be an ignoramus! He'd prate on Peary and the pole, Then nimbly leap to the equator ; He'd solved the soul and “ over-soul,” Was intimate with the Creator! Oh, to he learned in legal lore One hour, and issue a mandamus! nore bore, Then rest content, an ignoramus! Clinton Scollard, BY the terms of his Marquis of Hightowers showed his desire that his successors to the title should be men of intelligence and culture, He made it a condition that none of them should inherit the vast non-entailed properties unless he was a regular annual subscriber to Lire. I'd rid the world of one Wl the late With Malvina Cream “I Defy Wrinkles” You too can have a clear, fresh, youthful complexion every nd wast ot Ausolutely Removes Indigestion. One package Proves it. 25c at all druggists. “Lafayette, Here We Are” Through remote French villages resounds the unaccustomed tramp of American soldiers. But a little while ago and these men were in the quiet | of their homes in a peaceful country. | Today, in a strange land, they are | facing the world’s bloodiest struggle. Pershing at the tomb of America’s old time friend months ago reported, with true soldiereloquence, “Lafayette, here we are.” And it is for us of the great American democracy to rally all our might to the support of our army and our allies. From our shores to the battlefields of France are thousands of miles which must be bridged with ceaseless sup- plies to our troops. Every day calls for action here, no less than there. Cooperate! Sacrifice! These are the watchwords sent over the land by the Government. In this national effort the Bell System has served with every other essential industry in order that communication, manufacture and transportation may be kept at the peak of efficiency to provide the munitions, ordnance and supplies so urgently needed. AMERICAN TELEPHONE AND TELEGRAPH COMPANY AND ASSOCIATED COMPANIES One Policy What? HAT ought to be done with people who sign their names so badly to letters that you don’t know who they are when they write you? What can be suggested for the splen- did lady who you twenty-five tickets (at two ¢ concert she is ¢ even stamps enclosed), s each) for some ting up (with not and reque: you to send her a check i be responsible for their return? One System Universal Service What can be done with the old friend who, upon your wedding anniversary or your wife's birthday, office a bulky package less than five hundred pounds, telephones that he sends to your not and won't weighing hopes you neholy aumal sub parrot? If criber to Lire, and it to him every week, It will do you both g comicbooks.com