Life — February 14, 1918 — page 34: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

274 URY FOOLISH CONTEMPO ARIES Din na Unfair Advantage “Henry,” said his father-in-law, as he called his daughter's spouse into the library and locked the door, “you have lived with me now for over two years.” “Yes, father.” “Tn all that time I haven't asked you a penny for board.” “No, sir.” (Wonderingly.) “In all your little family quarrels 1 have always taken your part and decided in your favor.” “ Always, sir.” “T have even paid some of your bills.” “ A good many, father.” “And in every way helped you to get along.” “You have been very kind, sir.” “ Lhave tried to be, my boy, and I hope Then the small favor I am about to k of you will no doubt be ranted? f fost certainly, si “Thanks. Then I want you to tell your mother-in-law that those tickets for the supper-club dance which she picked up in my room this morning must have accidentally fallen out of your pocket, and we'll call it square !"—Tit-Bits. “THE MANOR” Asheville, North Carolina IN AMERICA—AN ENGLISH INN—Perfect GOLF. A SeMI-oFFICIAL message from Berlin declares that Jerusalem was evacuated be cause Germany's friends did not desire to see battles fought over sacred ground. The Sultan of Turkey is reported to have wired to the Kaiser to think of another. —Punch. ‘ALLEN'S FOOT- EASE The Antiseptic Powder to Shake Into Your Shoes And sprinkle in the Foot-Bath. One war relief committee reports, that of ull the things sent out last year in their Comfort Bags or “Kits,” Allen’s Foot=Ense received. the most praise from the soldiers. The American, Britishand French troops use it, because it takes the Friction from the shoo and fresh- '$ the feet. The Plattsburg Camp nual advises men in training to shake Foot=Ease in their shoes each morning. Why not order a dozen packages to-day from your dealer to mail to your soldier: friendsin ‘raining campsand in the army and na‘ Sold by Druggists and Dept. stores everywhere, 25c. Quick Relief for Husky, Hoaree, Tickling Throats 2Bc at all Drug Stores Sample for two-cent stamp Frederick Stearns & Company, | -:. Detroit, U.S.A. Pipe rma PREFER. Deities i any othor cigarette 25° Ong: peg ade the ttghest Grade Terkish | yption Cigarettes in the World The Wrong Process A colored Baptist was exhorting “Now, breddern and sistern, come up to de altar and have yo" sins washed away All came up but one man. “Why, Brudder Jones, don’t yo" want yo’ sins washed away?” I done had my sins washed away.” Yo’ has? Where yo’ had yo’ sins washed away?” “Ober at de Methodist church.” “Ab, Brudder Jones, yo’ ain't been washed; yo’ jes’ been dry cleaned.” —San Francisco Argonaut, And the Consumer Pays Stkancer: Farm products cost more than they used to. Tue Farmer: Yes. When a farmer is supposed to know the botanical name of what he’s raisin’, an’ the entor name of the insect that eats it, pharmaceutical name of the chemical that will kill it, somebody's got to pay —Pittsburgh Chronicle-Telegraph. “AN cee is) mighty valuable these days.” “Of course.” assented Farmer Corn- tosscl. “An egg will bring almost enough to pay for feeding the hen until she lays the next one.”"—IWashington Star. N important fact in the history of Samson and Delilah has just come to light. It appears that the lady did everything in her power to gain and retain the strong man’s fancy. She therefore became an annual subscriber to Lire, because she knew that she could count on Samson's coming around Tuesday to look over the current Gie BILTMORE 43rd and 44th Streets and Madison Avenue The center of social life at TEA TIME Ideally convenient for suburban dwellers