Life — February 14, 1918 — page 32: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

272 SCISSORS The village clock is on the stroke of ten, The bars are closed, the lights go out, and then Homeward the weary townsman plods his way, And silence ends a fuel-saving day. —Springfield Union, Fatness and Fitness A three-hundred-pound man stood gaz- ing longingly at. the enticing display in a haberdasher’s window. A friend stopped to inquire if he was thinking of buying the marked-down lavender silk shirt. “Gosh, no!” replied the fat man wist- fully,“ The only thing that fits me HOW TO TELL THE MAJORS FROM THE ready made is a handkerchief.” COLONELS —Pittsburgh Chronicle-Telegraph, COUNT THE ROWS OF BRAID ON THEIR SLEEVES “Tuat woman seems to have such a discordant personality. my back upon you, sir No wonder. She has a catty disposi Curmupcrox: Sir, I know of no obli- tion with a dogged determination. gation on your part to look at me. —Baltimore American. —Punch, Poutte Strancer: Excuse my turning Lire is published every, Thursday, simultaneously in the United States, Great Britain, in advance. Additional postage to foreign countries to Canada, 52 cents. Single current copies, 10 cents, Back numbers, after three months from date of publication, 25 cents. Issues prior to 1910 out of print. The text and illustrations in Lire are copyrighted. For Reprint Rights i apply to Lire, Rolls House, Breams Buildings, Fetter Lane, London, - rai; licited contributions. Great Britain C., England, issue to be affected, Canada and British Possessions. Title registered in Patent Office. §5.00 a year sellers in all the principal cities in. the world. The foreign. trade : Postal Unions $rosa year; LIFE’ London Office, Rolls House, Breams Buildings, Londons KE. C- No contributions will be return Shown Up Ignorance, says Dr. John Grier Hib. ben, is quick to betray itself. A young woman met a young man in a library, and in the course of their conversation the man remarked that he was a great reader. “Tam reading Shakespeare now,” said the girl. “Did you ever read ‘Romeo and Julict'?” “T've read ‘Romeo,’ said the young man,—Youth's Companion. A Reasonable Request Counsex (in divorce case): 1 ask that a recess be taken at this point, your honor. Juvce: On what grounds? Counset: My client wishes to change She hasn't displayed half her costumes yet.—Boston Transcript. her gown. “Do you think it is proper to use pro- ity toa mule?” So far as my own feelings are con- cerned,” declared the expert teamster, “it is highly improper. But when you are try d exacting an animal as a mule, you've simply got to humor him,” —Washington Star, fa is to get along with as sensitive a Lire is for sale by all newsdealers in Great Britain and may be obtained from plied from Notice of change of address should reach this office ten days prior to the date of THINGS WORTH WHILE GOOD RESTAURANTS G@D SERVICE GMD MUSIC AND ey OF COURSE KING OF TABLE WATERS on ice. The Clicquot Club Com: Arcana Choo (Pronounced Klee-ko) GINGER ALE One sip, and thirst.stops clamoring. One glass, and you're revived from tongue-tip The Great American Antidote for Thirst is Clicquot Club Ginger Ale. Good any- where, any time. Buy by the case from your grocer or drug . Keep in the pantry, ind a few bottle 7, Milles, Mass. U.S. A. - . comichook al unless accompanied by stamped and addressed envelope. Lire. does not hold itself responsible for the loss or nomreturn of unso ol m th re