Life, 1918-01-31 · page 36 of 40
Life — January 31, 1918 — page 36: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page collects humorous short anecdotes mocking social awkwardness and domestic situations of the era. The main cartoons satirize: **"Telling Him"**: A young man overstays his welcome at a lady's home. She responds to his question about an "eight-day clock" with sarcasm—implying he's so oblivious he might stay that long. The joke targets socially dense bachelors. **"Thoroughly Qualified"**: A job applicant claims to have collected "experience in instalments"—a satirical jab at people who conflate life mistakes with actual qualifications. **Other anecdotes** mock domestic friction (wives nagging husbands about can-openers and prayer) and pompous social hierarchies (hospital matrons). The page is primarily **humorous filler content**—light social satire targeting middle-class etiquette failures. Advertisements (Egyptian Deities cigarettes, The Biltmore hotel, Bell-Ans indigestion remedy) occupy significant space, typical of Life's revenue model.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
UR FOO LIS ONTEMPO Pou Telling Him He was one of those young men who never seem to know when to go home. She had tried yawning, but even that failed to get rid of him. Presently a clock outside in the hall began to strike in low, deep tones the midnight hour. “Oh, I say, Miss Green,” said the late stayer, brightly, “is that an. eight-day clock?" Miss Green smiled coldly at him. Well,” she said, stifling another yawn, “why don’t you stay a little longer and find out?"—Philadelphia Ledger. Thoroughly Qualified “What we advertised for was a col- lector of experience.” “That's me, I've been collecting ex- _ perience all my life “Hal Very bright! However, what we want is someone who is used to col- lecting in instalments.” “Well, sir, that’s how I collected all my experience, in instalments.” —Boston Transcript. “THE MANOR” Asheville, North Carolina, IN AMERICA-AN ENGLISH INN—Perfect GOLF Gowrer was making a fearful exhibi- tion of himself. His caddie was an un- usually quiet, stolid lad, with a freckled and expressionless face. Never once did the boy laugh or sneer at his play, and Gowfer took quite a fancy to him. At the end of the round, in the hope of getting a compliment, he said: “T've been travelling for the last six months. Iam quite out of practice. That is why Iam in such bad form to-day.” The caddie smiled and replied : “Then ye've played before, have ye, sir? "Globe. -Sckcar evamain Sor eTaR RR at Ge BILTMORE Where the social life of New. York centers by day and evening CLOSE TO ALL THEATRES AND SHOPS Tepes | education incariably | PREFER Deities tp | any other i “Whatever are you doing in the kitchen, Thomas?” inquired the inquisi- tive wife. “T'm opening a tin of tomatoes, if you particularly wish to know,” he impatient- ly rejoined. “And what are you opening it with?” “Why, with a can-opener. Think I'm using my teeth?” he added, savagely. “Oh, no, dear,” she sweetly replied; “but Ido know you are not opening it with prayer.”"—Tit-Bits. A Tryout Mrs. Pester: If there's anything you can do that I can't do quite as well I'd like to have you name it. Her Huspaxo: Well, not to mention my graceful manner of — scratching matches, I'd like to see you hang all your clothes on one small nail in the closet. —New York Globe. Making Her Acquaintance Visitor (at private hospital): Can I see Lieutenant Barker, please? Matron We do not allow ordinary visiting, May I ask if you're a relative? Visitox (boldly): Oh, yes! I'm his sister Matkox: Well, well! I'm very glad to meet you, I'm his mother. —Ladies Home Journal, HE Devil was sick—the Devil a monk would be; The Devil was well— and immediately we: ed his annual subscription to Lire, the non- receipt of which was the cause of his illness. “What's left of your money, said. “DON'T SHOUT” “t ont hear you with the poRLey JONE.” It isi wed by anyone, young or old. The Morley Phone for the DEAF 4s t0 the ears what eer ae theeyes. Write Fer Free containing testimocials allover the country It daake causesol deafness: whythe MORL! aGords relief. Over a quarter of a millon sold. ‘THE MORLEY CO., Dept. 771 Absolutely Removes Indigestion. One packg proves it. 25c at all druggists.