Life — December 27, 1917 — page 36: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

1104 ors as st An Ohio man was having a lot of trouble piloting a one-tent show through the Middle West. He lost a number of valuable animals by accident and other- Therefore, it was with a sympa- thetic mien that one of the keepers un- dertook the task of breaking the news of another disaster. He began thus: “Mr, Smith, you remember that laugh- in’ hyena in cage nine?” “Remember the laughing hyera?” de- manded the owner, angrily. “ What the deuce are you driving at?” “Only this, Mr. Smith: he ain't got nothing to laugh at this morning.” —Reedy’s Mirror. Nothing in Numbers “How many clubs does Mrs. Jibway belong to?” “ About a dozen.” “Oh, well, Mr. Jibway belongs to only one ciub, and he's never at home.” —Birmingham Age-Herald, wise. Eprtor: Well, young woman, if the story suits me I'll pay you twenty dollars for it. Younc Lapy Autior (persuasively) : Oh, come now. Buy it without reading and I'll let you have it for fifteen dollars. —New York Globe. IR WALTER RALEIGH, in teach- ing his countrymen the value of tobacco as a consoler, conferred almost as great a benefit on his kind as the person who conceived the idea that a subscription to Lire, with its fifty-two cheerful visits a year, makes a delight- ful Christmas present. Why Not Try a New Drink for the New Year? MO OOVERNMENT LICENEE REQUIRED Full of Substantial Holiday Cheer Ail uptodate diaiers ©. EVANS & BONS,” Estat. 1706. WCDSOS, 5.7. OUR FOOLISH | CONTEMPORARIES Fp Gy Cp Horrors of War “W'ot's Tommy swearin’ so about?” ‘orrid orf of the bloomin’ boches an’ Ioody well mad, too.” “W'ot's ‘is kick?” “W'y, 'e was just smokin’ up on a cigar w'ot 'e got from ‘ome w'en one o° the blighters shoots it right out of ‘is mouth. Hit ‘ud make anybody mad, I eay.”—Sundial, In a Pinch, ue ALLEN’S FOOT-EASE “Tne Lord knows how Binks made his money!” “No wonder he always looks worried.” —St. Louis Globe-Democrat. WORDS FAILED HIM Many kindly meant but often harmful things were done in the sick-room before the principles of modern hy- gienic nursing were known. They should be taught to every young girl as an essential part of her education, There may come a time when such knowledge will save a precious life. The announcements of the best schools In the country can be found in Scribner's Magazine every month, If detailed tntormation ts desired, address SCRIBNER’S MACAZINE SCHOOL AND COLLECE SERVICE DEPARTMENT Scribner Building, Fifth Avenue Room 17 - + New York CAUTION: LIFE employs no direct travel- ling representatives; it does not offer prizes, college courses or other in. } ducements for agents to canvass for subscriptions. subscriptions on any such basis should be turned over to the author- ities as a swindler. Anyone soliciting Be sure to place your order with a reliable bookseller, news agent or solicitor, if you do not mail it to LIFE direct. 8. ek LIFE PUBLISHING COMPANY 17 West 31st Street, New York BELL-ANS Absolutely Removes Indigestion. One packag proves it. 25c at all druggists comicbooks Garry