Life, 1917-10-11 · page 30 of 40
Life — October 11, 1917 — page 30: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from **Life** magazine (a satirical publication) contains several humor pieces mocking contemporary foibles: **"Our Foolish Contemporaries"** features four brief satirical anecdotes: 1. A Chinese man's tale of progressively calling worse doctors until one never arrives—mocking both ethnic stereotypes and medical incompetence. 2. A judge catching a perjurer who claims lifelong truthfulness, retorting with a quip about widowhood—exposing obvious lies. 3. A professor's "law of compensation" (blind people hear better) challenged by an Irishman's absurd observation about short legs—satirizing pseudo-scientific reasoning. 4. A recruit's kit inspection where an officer discovers the soldier lacks a "housewife" (sewing kit), then mockingly asks about *his own* housewife—military humor about supplies and officers' temper. The page also contains **advertisements** (Fownes gloves, Egyptian Deities cigarettes, Pohlson gift shops) typical of 1920s magazine content. The "Compliments of the Day" anecdote and "Cain and Abel" joke continue the satirical tone, poking fun at human absurdity across social classes and situations.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
FOOLISH CONTEMPO CRIES Grateful to the Doctor A Chinaman was asked if there were od doctors in China, Good doctors!" he exclaimed. “China have best doctors in world, Hang Chang ¢ good doctor; he great; save life, to How was that?” aid. “ Me callee You don’t say so! “Me velly bad,” he Doctor Han Kon. Give some medicine. velly ill, Me callee’ Doctor San more medicine. Me glow Blimebly callee Doctor He got no time; no come. ‘—Ladies’ Home Journal. Get velly, Give Sing. North Carolina Perfect GOLF. ¢ THE, MANORS -Asheril IN AMERICA— SH 1 Mr. Justice Dartaxc, in a case where one of the witnesses was obviously per- juring himself, cautioned him, where- upon the witness burst fort “My lord, you may believe me or be- lieve me not, but I have not stated a word that is false; I have been wedded to the truth since infancy !” “Indeed!” came the retort, quick as a lightning flash, “ Wedded to the truth since infancy, ch? But” “may I inquire how long you have been a widower?” —Tit-Bits. Making It Plain “When a person is blind, his hearing is more acute,” said the professor, ex- plaining the law of compensation. aid Pat. “Oi often noticed if a man has one short leg the other is always longer.” —Ladies’ Home Journal — sweetly — Cost of glove leather has gone up enormously... Hence these points are worth remembering: I. Buy good gloves—for true economy. 2. Buy genuine “Capes”, for greatest durability. 3. Buy gloves which you can wash. Fownes Capes combine all these advantages, in addition to their celebrated style and perfect fit, so that OWNE that’s all you need to know about a GLOVE, Compliments of the Day Soldiers have to do their own mendin when it is done at all, although few persons would have guessed it—that the thoughtful War Office sup- plies them with outfits for that purpose. Otherwise, this joke would be impossible. for kit inspec- tion; the recruits stood lined up ready for the officer, and the officer had his bad temper all complete. He marched up and down the line, grimly eyeing each man's bundle of needles and soft soap, and then he singled out Private } Tootle as the man who was to receive his attentions “ Tooth brush? “Yes, si “ Razor? “Yes, sir.” “ Hold-all? "Yes, sir.” “Hm! You're all right, apparently,” growled the officer. Then he barked ” Housewife?” “Oh, very well, thank you,” recruit amiably. “ How's yours? —Journal of the American Medical As sociation. and it appears— Everything was ready " he roared. said the Treisman (seatching @ bag-punching exhibition): Begorra, if that poor divil had arms, things would be different ! —The Lamb. IN and Abe! Garden of Eden or thereabouts, Abel,” asked Cain, “have you re- newed the Adam family’s annual sub- scription to Lire?” cre strolling in the “7 done forgot all about it,” replied Abel. Hence the first case of justifiable homicide. EGYPTIAN DEITIES “The Utmost in Pain phe Rope culture refinement and education ino PREFER Deities any other cigarette 25° lng yroy Makers of the Unghest Grd Terksh und Eqyptan Caparetios an the Wid Medical Friend A CAR, YOU MUST NOT NEGLECT YOU EXER- cise “ou, WE won't, SECOND-HAND CAK.” NOW THAT YOU MAVE DOCTOR. THIS 18 4 GIFT for a BACHELOR, MAID or MAN Her big eves see everything, bet lone ears hear everything niiron tarot iculously on her stem of 80 krotesque as to be No 1818 “The Old Lady Sway: POHLSON GIFT SHOPS | 26 Bank Bldg., Pawtucket, R. L comicbooks Rainy