Life — September 6, 1917 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

384 "LIFE The Curse of Food laboratory expert emerged from his workshop on HE the run. In his eyes shone the deathless fire of a great discovery “While studying a Prohibitionist pamphlet,” he cried to his brother experts, “I came across figures showing how one glass of beer impairs a workman's efficiency, It de- clared that beer should be prohibited because it slows up a man’s work, makes him sleepy, and increases the danger of accidents.” His brother experts regarded him coldly and shook their heads at cach other, as if to intimate that here was a sad case, “Tt immediately occurred to me,” continued the labora- tory expert, oblivious of the lack of enthusiasm about him, “that the symptoms induced by beer were strikingly sim- ilar to those induced by a full meal. I determined to in- vestigate. I devoured a meal of oysters, turtle soup, filet of sole, breast of guinea chicken, fried egg-plant, stuffed green peppers, potatoes au gratin, chiffonade salad, café parfait, angel cake, cheese and coffee, after which I went back to work. I then found that it took me twenty min- utes to do work which I had done in twelve minutes hefore eating. I was overcome by languor. I made sev- eral serious mistakes, such as adding nine and six and getting seventeen. I was horrified. A few moments of thought convinced me that the efficiency and vitality of the nation are being destroyed by the curse of eating. It is no different from the curse of drink. I have determined to inst the devouring of food!” vere start a crusade ANT PLEAS BLESS WILLIF, ANT MAKE TIM Less QUARRELS SOME. AMEN SAY! YOU START KNOCKIN’ ME Tu CoD PASTE Y 1s yom “DON’T YOU DARE TO KISS ME, MOTHER!" “But, surely,” protested one of his brother experts, “surely you wouldn't go so far as to that a man shouldn’t have food in moderation, just because one me: affects his work a trifle!” “Yes, I would, too!” shriecked the laboratory expert. “Food must be prohibited! No food! No waste! No more slowing up of work! No more necessity of food conservation! Three cheers for Food Prohibition Unosten room. A few moments later two whit entered quictly at the mouth and preaching Food Prohibition at the top of his lungs. “Ts this the party attendan handcuffs, Pwo minutes jously one of the experts slipped from the apped attendants and found the laboratory expert frothing * enquired one of the white-capped rolling up his sleeves and producin pair of ter the Food Prohibitionist was lying in nd for the bospital, with one attendant al. 1. Roberts. an ambulance, and the other on his he Kenn sitting on his f Modern Inconveniences date? S Ethel’s suburban | “Up to the minute, There's a trolley pole on the sidewalk, a street lamp that attracts all the inseets in creas tion, a letter-box that clanks and rattles at all hours when mail is deposited ; there is s Sear by with a complet and the village band meets es a week.” stock of adors always en han hy for practice three comicbooks Big