Life — June 7, 1917 — page 32: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

1000 FOOLISH CONTEMFO ARIES No Longer Blind I love my love in zebra hose, In purple veil she’s grand, But, oh, my love in soiled white spats Is more than I can stand! —Nort stern Candle. Uncle Mose’s Congratulations A young planter in Mississippi had an old servant called Uncle Mose, who had cared for him as a child and whose de- votion had never waned. The young man became engaged to a girl of the neigh- borhood who had a reputation for un- usual beauty and also for a very violent temper. Noticing that Uncle Mose never mentioned his approaching marriage, the , planter said: “Mose, you know [am going to marry Miss Currier? “Yassuh, I knows it.” n't heard you say anything persisted the planter. 1h,” said Mose. “'Tain't fo" me to say nothin’ ‘bout it. I's got nothin’ to say.” “But you must have some opinion about so important a step on my part.” “Well, suh,” said the old negro with some hesitation, “ yo" knows one thing— the most prizonest snakes has got the most prettiest skins.” ‘ —Youth's Companion, Wine Jelly when favored with Abbott's Bitters ix made more delightful and healthful. Sample of bitters by marl, Bets instamps. C, W. Abbott & Co., Baltimore, Md. Ir those Princeton scientists have really discovered a w to obtain light without heat, they ought to tackle next the great problem: How to discuss poli- tics and religion without getting mad. ning Sun, Ge BILTMORE 43rd and 44th Streets and Madison Avenue The center of social life at TEA TIME Ideally convenient for suburban dwellers Wherever Your Motor Can Take You— Wells Fargo Checks are good. Use them to buy gasoline and tires, and to pay your hotel bills. You can’t expect your personal check to be cashed where you are unknown. It is not safe to carry a large amount of cash—but Wells Fargo Checks are as available as cash, and safe besides. Wells Fargo express service is ersonal and safe—are you tak- ing advantage of it? Wells Fargo Travelers Checks Millions of dollars of Wells Fargo Checks ore issued annually by banks, railroad and steamship ticket offices, The Limit Reached Mrs, Mellen did not wish to offend her new cook. “John,” she said to the manservant, “can you find out, without asking the cook, whether the tinned salmon was all eaten last night? You see, I don't wish to ask her, because she may have eaten it, and then she would feel uncomfort- able,” added the good soul “If you please, nta’am,” replied the man, “the new cook has eaten the tinned salmon, and if you was to say anything to her you couldn't make her feel any more uncomfortable than she is.” —Tit-Bits, NOR”—Asheville, North Carolina “THE | IN AMERICA MANNENE Lid IN Ne Best Inn South! Two Irishmen were working on the roof of a building one day when one made a misstep and fell to the ground; the other leaned over and called: “Are ye dead or alive, Mike?” ‘m alive,” said Mike, feebly. “Sure, yer such a liar I don't know whether to believe ye or not.” “Well, then, I must be dead,” said Mike, “for ye would never dare to call me a liar if I were alive."—Argonaut. “Wett, little miss,” said the grocer, “what can I do for you?” “ Please, sir, mother wants a bottle of good-natured alcohol.” —Boston Transcript. “ O": there's nothing half so sweet in life as love's young dream,” except the pleasure a prudent young man feels when he walks into the newsdealer’s and gets the copy of Lire which he is sure of because he has been clever enough to order it in advance, FOR YACHT, CAMP, CLUB OR COTTAGE vans le. tout 1786 er esr, sons, mein 1917 BACARDI try: MAKES THE PERFECT COCKTAIL, HIGHBALL OR RICKEY. Folder containing, recipes of famous Bacard! drinks ‘mailed on request D.S, DEJONGH, i27"Water Street. New York comicbooks.com