Life, 1917-05-03 · page 37 of 42
Life — May 3, 1917 — page 37: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page combines two distinct pieces: a satirical column and automobile advertising. **"Modern Confessions"** is a humorous first-person narrative where the narrator admits to having an "influence" over clergymen—implying seduction or moral corruption. The joke plays on 1920s anxieties about clergy's humanity and hypocrisy: these supposedly virtuous men happily engage in golf, poker, and drinking with the narrator rather than upholding religious standards. The confession's breathless tone parodies sincere confessional literature while suggesting the narrator has "reclaimed" multiple clergymen through moral compromise. The sidebar cartoon shows a householder scolding someone about moles burrowing through a door, sarcastically asking why they left a kitchen window open—a non-sequitur joke about poor logic. **"Oil Banking"** is a Gargoyle Mobiloils advertisement targeting experienced motorists ("veterans"), arguing that cheap oil costs more per mile through rapid breakdown and increased fuel consumption. It appeals to practical economic reasoning rather than price alone. The page reflects early 1920s concerns: clergy morality, Prohibition's gloom, and automobile maintenance culture.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Modem Confessions AM fond of clergymen. I remember once when I was perfectly normal; I look back upon those days now and wonder, It seems so strange to be telling of this singular inclination of mine; yet, somehow, I feel that I ought. It is a duty I owe to others, It came about gradually, of course. I met a clergyman once. I discovered, much to my surprise, that, like myself, he was intensely human. We had much in com- mon. Then I found that I was having an influence over him. With the next one I met it was much the same. Then I began to feel my power. It began to dawn upon me that my work was among clergymen, to make them better, to uplift them. Thus it has gone on. Unless I meet a new clergyman once in so often, I be- come uneasy. I feel as if I had not done my work in the world. Ah! You may laugh if you will. You little know the temptation, and how, once started on a downward path, it is so casy to slip. Clergymen, it would seem, are con- stantly being thrown in my way. At first 1 was afraid. I thought they might ask me why I did not go to church. Then I saw that they would rather play golf with me, would rather play poker with me, would rather be discreetly bibulous with me, would rather, in short consort with me as man to man than ask me that. And I was lost. How many clergymen I have re- claimed I dare not say. That secret I must hide from the world. There are some things too sacred to dwell upon. ATIONAL Prohibition is likely to envelop the entire country in gloom, but this may be very much lightened if every depressed person will be careful to leave a standing or- der with his newsdealer, so that he will be sure to get his copy of Lire every The Householder; 1, THERE! DON'T WORE MOLES IN THAT DOOR, WHAT DO YOU SUPPOSE 1 LEFT THE KITCHEN WINDOW c For? HICH COST PER OIL BANKING How shrewd motorists save money HEN most car owners were nov- ices, strong words made strong impressions. But today the roads are toured by millions of veter- ans. These veterans have learned how to test words. They know how to prove or disprove claims. If you are a veteran you know this: An oil that burns up rapidly or breaks down quickly cannot be really cheap. Though it may be low-priced by the gallon, it is bound to prove high-priced by the mile. You know that a wrong-bodied oil raises your gas consumption. Instead of saving your oil pennies it eats up your gas dollars. You know that wear and tear on the metal parts means, some day, a heavy bill which the low price per- gallon can never wipe out. In recent years no oils have made such steady prog- ress toward a dominant place in the market as Gar- goyle Mobiloils. Why? Because now-a-days the great bulk of lubricating oil is sold to automobile veterans—men who have learned that gasoline saving depends largely on thorough piston-ring seal—who know that the piston-ring seal depends solely on the body and character of their lubricating oil. Because the veteran knows that an oil which uses up rapidly is not lubricating properly. Because the veteran automobilists of today know that the higher price per-gallon of Gargoyle Mobiloils means a lower cost per mile in operating expense. Write for new 56-page booklet containing complete dis- cussion of your lubrication problems, list of troubles with remedies and Complete Charts of Recommendations for Automobiles, Motor-cycles, Tractors and Marine Engines. GAREONe Mobiloils A grade for cach type of motor In buying Gargoyle Mobiloils from your dealer, jt is safest to purchase in original packages. Look for the red Gargoyle on the centainer. If the dealer has not the grade specified for your car, kindly write our nearest branch, giving dealer's name and address. VACUUM OIL COMPANY Rochester, N. Y., U. S. A. Specialists in the manufacture of high-grade lubricants for every class of machinery. ' Obtainable everywhere in the world. Domestic Branches: Chicago Philadelphia Indianapolis Detroit Boston New York Kansas City, Kan. Minneapolis Pittsbargb Des Moines Gargoyle Mobiloil “A” Garg AS ‘The recommendations cover all models of both plea ure and commercial vebicles unless otherwise noted. hia 649) Mad. © 5) ere Mobile ‘opposite the car ini- fe Mobitotls that should be "means Gargoyle Mobiloil Gargoyle Mobiloil “Arctic, “etc ain on > Fm: 81> F | Waew Siimiie boe>>i>>s >>} [Sam f¥>. Foy oF Eoy. f>kF SRE me mii F>.>f>>t> f > Rimiviisi Te ees Fea > a> Bai 7 ti >> >F 3F% For 5. 835 >a > > f> Fo ics serie Bisttstaeist? parr f po>> peokon>itsat £ S3> > SF> FoYonoteeTe F SEES mi Fred SEES ES F>eae pook> poa> >>otn>pronetina> £ >>> >itiori>> Daii> >ind: S3> Rite 3347 baivird b> foinines > >> >i>m> Gonv}h >vk> >> >>>>> d>>>>nakir>> F >>> > FED ¥ >F>-! >> > >> Sit vk: oa: 0 7 FoF fF 77 we Sh hia > bk a ahhe hae Foo Sook 5. > SEF SER >eott i Peer FS PESEEF>>ESTEL o> FoE> FSET > oF > ne> >h> Rates beea> i eite >sF Tiko>e wien m>vitess § foio> oe sf Sein >>. toes ¥ bo>ea>in = Fiao> Arctic” oe worm tor Level gear drive. comicbooks.com