Life — April 19, 1917 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A Precautionary Measure Tim Casey, a juror, rose suddenly from his seat and hastened to the door of the court-room. He was prevented, however, from leaving the room, and was sternly questioned by the judge. “Yes, your honor, I'll explain meself,” said the juror. “ When Mr. Finn finished his talking me mind was clear all through, bat whin Mr, Evans begins his talkin’ I becomes all confused an’ says I to me self, ‘ Faith, I'd better lave at once, an’ shtay away until he is done,’ because, your honor, to tell the truth, I didn’t like the the argument was goin’.” —Argonant. His Share Orricer (to private): What the devil are you doing down that shell-hole? Didn't you hear me say we were out against four to one? Groote, (a trade unionist): Ay. Aa heard you; but aa‘ve killed ma fower. —Punch. Live is published every Thursday, simultaneously in the United States, Great Britain, Canada and British Possessions. Title registered in U. S. Patent Office. $5.00 a year in advance. Additional postage to foreign countries in the Postal Union, $1.04 a year; to Canada, 52 cents. Single current copies, 10 cents. Back numbers, after three months from date of publication, 25 cents. Issues prior to 1910 out of print The tert and illustrations in Lire are copyrighted. For Reprint Rights in Great Britain epply to Lire, Rolls House, Breams Buildings, Fetter Lane, London, E. C., England. A Flattering Explanation A sturdy Scot, 6 feet 5 inches height, is a gamekeeper near Strafford One hot day last summer he was accom panying a bumptious sportsman, of ver small stature, when he was greatly trou bled by gnats. The other said to him “ My good man, why is it that the gnat do not trouble me?" “T daursay,” replied the gamekeeper with a comprehensive glance at th other's small proportions, “ it will be be cause they havna’ seen ye yet!” —Tit-Bits. The Value of Home Teaching “Ethel,” said her mother, “have you been at my preserves again? Ethel at once became very busy ar ranging her doll’s hair, “ Mother,” she replied, “when you were a little girl didn’t grandma teach you, same’s you have me, not to be too ‘quisitive?” —Ladies’ Home Journal. The Moming After Stupe: I'm all right, but I can't get my breath. Pruvr: Well, you're extremely lucky —Harvard Lampoon Lire is for sale by all newsdealers in Great Britain and may be obtained from book sellers in all the principal cities in the world. Live's London Office, Rolls House, Breams Buildings, London, E. No contribution will be returned unless accompanied by ‘stamped and addressed envelope. Lire does not hold itself responsible for the loss or non-return of unio licited contributions. ‘The foreign trade supplied from Notice of change of address should reach this office ten days prior to the date o issue to be affected. ON BONS CHOCOLATES e FRENCH BONBONNIERES Diyfth Avenue at 35* Steck, NEW YORK “4 NEW ARRIVAL, YOUR MAJESTY, HE INVENTED THE IDEA OF BUTTONING GOWNS UP THE BACK. FASTEN THAT GOWN WITH THE FIVE THOUSA “cer mit