Life, 1917-04-12 · page 12 of 42
Life — April 12, 1917 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page satirizes World War I submarine warfare and American politics. The top cartoon depicts sailors being rescued after a U-boat sinking, with a caption mocking preparation ("Save your appetite, Marie. Dinner will be down in a minute"). The main text is a fictional speech by a German U-boat commander (Admiral von Tirpitz) to American recipients (Hohenzollern), ironically thanking them for sinking his ship and apologizing for the "educational voyage." The satire targets American neutrality debates and those who opposed U.S. involvement. The lower section, "English Idioms for the Modern German Schoolboy," presents absurdist word-play mocking German militarism—references to lost battles, submarines, and German leaders—suggesting German defeat and humiliation. The page ridicules both German aggression and American isolationism during the pre-1917 period.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“AE Ee “SAVE YOUR APPETITE, MARIE, DINNER WILL BE DOWN IN A MINUTE.” 50) “LJOW can we get behind Mr. Wilson when he is two years behind the procession himself?" “Who was it spoke of our dear President as ‘Our Leading Slacker’? “Did Lincoln have Dr. Wilson in mind when he said, “You can fool some of the people all the time’?” English Idioms for the Modern German Schoolboy HERE is the torpedo of my grandfather? The Iron Cross of my uncle is in the beer-garden. For what is a treaty but to be broken? The note of the American is about to be answered. Is not the Kultur of my Kaiser to be marveled at? Where is the slap-stick of my Crown Prince? The nerve of the Briton is something colossal. For why does the Zeppelin of my field-marshal not re- turn? The blue-print of the sofa. The helmet of my grand-nephew is in the music-room Yankee submarine is under the ‘O be really modern one must be at least a year ahead of the times. Little Speeches for Great Moments (On Being Sunk by a Submarine) ENTLEMEN of the U-Boat, Admiral von Tirpitz and Mr. Hohenzollern: I am very happy to have this op- portunity of presenting to you, in the few moments before I drown, the apologies of myself and my countrymen for attempting to trespass upon your ocean. It is with deep regret that I realize my mistake. When I embarked upon this, so to speak, educational voyage, I was laboring under the delusion that the seas were free to all persons having lawful business thereon, But now I perceive the narrow- ness, the provincial fallacy of that view. I acknowledge that I was wrong. I am particularly grateful to you for sinking the ship on which I had so carelessly embarked. Otherwise I might have continued in a dangerously deluded state of mind. I might have continued to think that American citizens had a right to go upon the seas! Your sincerity in this matter particularly impresses me. 1 am told that torpedoes cost between seven thousand and cight thousand dollars apiece—and you have squandered two of them on my education. Thanking you in behalf of the women and children who, unfortunately, are unable to speak for themselves, and assuring you of the good wishes of Mr. Woodrow Wilson, Mr. Bryan, Mr. Stone, ete., etc. I now feel that I can drown in perfect security, and with a feeling of great spiritual exaltation. Only an American citizen can taste the full joys of being sunk by a submarine! I thank you. “| COULDN'T SERVE AS JUROR, JUDGE; ONE LOOK AT THAT FELLER CONVINCES ME HE'S GUILTY. “$H-H—THAT'S THE ATTORNEY FOR THE STATE.”