Life, 1917-04-05 · page 48 of 70
Life — April 5, 1917 — page 48: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**"A Laundry Lay"** is a humorous poem by Arthur Guiterman about a young poet whose romantic verses, accidentally written on a *detachable collar cuff*, get sent to a laundry. The laundresses become so moved by his words they ejaculate praise ("Seraphic!" "Divine!" etc.). The shop owner—a "blue-eyed nymph"—reads the poem and declares him her "Affinity" (soulmate). The satire mocks the sentimentality of romantic poetry and the idea that flowery words can magically win hearts; it also jokes about the mundane reality of commercial laundry service, which will now wash your cuffs cheaply. **"Biology"** is a short joke: a teacher asks students what inhabits Earth, gets "Human beings," then asks Willie Stone into what divisions humans divide. His answer: "Regular people and boobs"—a class-based insult suggesting some people are foolish. The humor lies in the child's blunt social commentary breaking the lesson's formality. Both pieces use satire to mock pretension and social hypocrisy.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A Laundry Lay HEN I was young and lived rime, A garret gave me sheltering ; "Twas bitter cold in winter time, In August it was sweltering Upon my cuff T scrawled, one day, A song of love, unmatchable! My cuffs were then, I blush to say, The kind they call “detachable.” A stupid slavey seized the cuff While ‘round my garret maundering. And sent it off with other stuff— She thought it needed laundering ! But when my cuff, transported, came Where clothes are made immaculate, The maids, who read my words of ¢ flame, Did nothing but ejaculate: “ Seraphic!" * Ravishing!” “ Divine! tupendous!” “ Perfect!" “ Glori ous!” “Sublime!” “Bewitching!” * Super- fine!” “Extremely: meritorious!” The blue-eyed nymph that owned the shop,— A girl to lose your poise about,— Exclaimed, “Why does the washing stop, And what is all this noise about?” Yet, having scanned the lines I wrote, Then cried the fair divinity, “This troubadour of perfect note 1 know is my Affinity!” So now our joint establishment Judiciously and seasonably Will wash your cuff for just a cent, Your other things as reasonably. Arthur Guiterman. Biology “AJOW, children, what is the carth inhabited by?” “Human beings.” “Correct. And, Willie Stone, into what two grand divisions are all human beings divided?” “Regular people and boobs.” CANDLE POWER — ONE AND comichooks.