Life, 1917-04-05 · page 47 of 70
Life — April 5, 1917 — page 47: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
The page contains two distinct pieces satirizing early 20th-century American and European politics. **Top Section - "Great Americans":** A fictional account mocking W. Helburt Lawless, described as holder of the "automobile record for maiming pedestrians." The satire shows creditors confronting a man (presumably Lawless or a character) about unpaid debts. When he announces he's paid in full, they refuse further credit anyway, fearing his reckless behavior will continue. The joke exposes how wealth and bravado can mask genuine danger to society. **Bottom Section - "A Cataract of Thrones":** Commentary on World War I's destabilization of European monarchies. The piece quotes an unnamed British nobleman predicting thrones will fall "like a cataract." It notes the Czar has already abdicated ("taken the plunge") and suggests German and Austrian monarchies face genuine collapse—unlike Britain, Italy, or other nations where kings could survive as mere figureheads. The satire criticizes how European royalty persists as empty tradition despite political upheaval.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
GREAT AMERICANS W. HELBENT LAWLESS, HOLDER OF THE AUTOMOBILE RECORD FOR MAIMING PEDESTRIANS feeling, if possible, by taking a good look at you. I believe in eliminating fear, which makes cowards of most 9f . That's all. It’s quite simple.” His creditors by this time had be- gun to group themselves about the tall man who had acted as spokes- man. They were plainly disturbed. They had a whispered conversation. At last the tall man turned to Mr. Pindexter, “T regret to inform you, sir, that we cannot extend to you any more credit We want your trade, of course, but you must hereafter pay cash.” “Why?” The tall man hesitated. He slightly embarrassed. “Well, sir,” he replied, “to be hon- est with you, we don’t like the look of this thing. We have to be careful of our accounts because of our slight was 591 margin of profit. And we all agree that we can't afford to take chances with you.” “But I've just paid you in full.” “True. But if you have sent out such a notice this time just for a little joke, or whatever you call it, there's no telling what you may do in the future. Hope you won't be of- fended, but that’s our unanimous de- cision.” Mr. Pindexter’s face beamed. My friends,” he exclaimed, “ this is most extraordinary. I didn’t quite know how this affair was coming out, but now I see that it couldn't have been otherwise. You had to do what you did. It’s the eternal law.” “What law?” said the tall man “Why, the good old law that the moment you face your troubles they all disappear. My friends, thank God I shall never have occasion to see you Good morning.” “A Cataract of Thrones” N° one has put more vivid words than the “I the outlook into lishman of high rank” quoted by s ter writer to the New York Times, who said, sadly, “I expect to see the war end in a cataract of thrones. Since he wrote the Czar has taken the plunge. Lucky King George, who has not far to drop in any case, and might live on comfortably as a British citizen even though his kingship was scrapped. The case is much the same with the royal house of Italy, whose members would make excellent republicans if need arose. The thrones that remain that would crash in coming down would be those in Germany and Austria. For those to go would be a change of government; for all the rest, nothing more than a change of fashion. Convenience and sentiment have made Europe put much new wine of representative government in old bot- tles of royalty. The main trouble now is that so many of the bottles are Ger- man. The inconvenience of German kings, even as figure-heads, has been demonstrated, and if the Kaiser goes the whole shelfful of German bottles may be upset. comichoo!