Life — March 1, 1917 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

OME, gather round the festal board By ringing goblets dented! For some let ginger ale be poured, Or grape juice (unfermented), Or old carbonic, rich and prime, Or seltzer faintly fishy; And those that will may pass their time In quaffing milk-and-vichy. And foaming soda pleases most When flavored with vanilla; But as for me, my love I toast In nut-brown Sarsaparilla! Sarsaparilla No Rhenish vineyard gave it birth, No hillock Andalusian ; It flowed from roots earth, The generous infusion. The source of joy, the font of wit And cadences harmonic, It is, physicians all admit, A safe and gentle tonic. A brew to tame the Missing Link Or African gorilla, The gods on high Olympus drink Of nut-brown Sarsaparilla! of western Then fill your cups; convivial throngs, With pop and juice of lemons, And raise the rousing drinking songs Of Mrs. F. D. Hemans! Or shout your paeans, jovial souls, To Hebe, Juno's daughter, That she may fill your crystal bowls With sparkling lithia wager; While I on Father Horace call To leave his Sabine villa And pledge with me the health of all In nut-brown Sarsaparilla! Arthur Guiterman, Junkers to'the Junk Pile! HE citizens of German birth or derivation in © this country who have the best prospect of be- ing useful in the long run to Ger- many are those of recognized loyalty to the United States. If they believe in gov- ernment by the people they are likely to find them- selves presently in full sympathy with their cousins at home. For popular government is coming to Germany, and is far on the way. What Germans are fighting for to- day are the dynasty and the Prussian junkers. They are anachronisms, and are bound to go. But anachronisms, when well entrenched, often go very hard indeed. Slavery was an anachron- ism in the United States long before ‘61. It was a curse to all the Southern people, and not even pecuniarily profit- able, except to about ten thousand planters, Yet the Southerners fought for it, rank and file, as though it were salvation, and for its sake endorsed secession, which comparatively few of them wanted. They had to be over- whelmed by superior force before the wretched anachronism which they were fastened to could be wrenched loose and cast on the junk pile. ND that is how the Germans are fighting to-day for the divine rights of the Hohenzollern family and the am- bitions of predacious junker persons who believe that force rules the world. Divine right is a dead duck. To no one in Germany is it a greater curse than to the Kaiser, who might not be so bad if he could be cured of his superstitions. The unscrupulous doc- trine that might makes right is out of date in world politics. Yet there are the Germans, fastened to the defense of these abominations, condemned to wallow in shame, hunger and death, for things that it is pure gain to lose. Verily, the German salvation comes hard. But it is coming. Often, nowa- days, come out of Germany reports that encourage the belief that very’ many of the Germans have begun to appreciate what body of death it is that they are tied up to, and to consider passionately by what means they may hope to be quit of it. T was an American observer who said after the last U-boat notice: “If we could only get rid of that Prussian bunch there could be peace with Ger- many within a month.” That is true, and the number of Germans who recognize the truth of it seems to be increasing. There are Germans who feel the shame that German doings in Belgium brought upon their people. There are Germans who know that Germany has been misled, and stands, not without due reason, condemned of all mankind. They mean that Ger- many shall come right again, and that her misleaders shall account for their crimes, but they cannot act until their chance comes. Our German-Americans ought to see the German case as it truly is, but the home Germans may beat them to it, for they have suffered and gained the in- sight that slowly comes from suffer- ing. But when the home Germans rise against the Junkers, it will be very in- teresting to hear our Germans give voice, and note what they find to say. ~ BS. M. URGLAR: Quick, now! Where do you keep your potatoes? comicbooks.com