Life — March 1, 1917 — page 34: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Discovering Columbus During the recent campaign a Tammany leader on the East Side, a self-made man and one not entirely completed yet in some respects, was addressing a mass meeting of Italian-born voters on behalf of the Democratic ticket. “Gintlemen and fellow citizens,” he began, “I deem it an honor to be per- mitted to address you upon the issues of the day. I have always had a deep ad- miration for your native land. I vinerate the mimory of that great, that noble Ey talian who was the original and first di coverer of this here land of ours. “Why, gintlemen, at me mother’s knee I was taught to sing that inspirin’ song: “Columbus, the Jim of the Ocean’!”” Whereupon there was loud applause. —Saturday Evening Post. Peccy: Poor Jigby won't be able to cut his usual dash with that wounded leg. Mater: Don't despair, dear. That man can swagger sitting down.—Tit-Bits, Putting a Foot in It Nijinsky, the famous Russian dancer, is, of course, a good musician. At a reception the other day M. Nijin- sky listened without wincing to a piano- forte performance, more vigorous than skilful, on the part of the daughter of the house. “M. Nijinsky, how do you like my little girl’s playing?” the hostess asked her guest of honor. “Ah, madam,” M. Nijinsky replied in his quaint English, “I think your daugh- ter haff a vairy firm tread.” —London Opinion, Marx Twarn was a good sailor, and he often spent happy weeks cruising with his old friend, H. H. Rogers, in his steam yacht, the Kanawha. Once they were caught south of Cuba in a heavy sea, the effect of a long-drawn and violent gale. The Caribbean was heaving at its worst. For once in his life Mark Twain was up- set by the rolling and pitching of the ship. He leaned over the lee rail and clung on desperately. “Mr. Clemens, can't I get you some- thing?” asked a steward, solicitous “Yes,” Mark drawled, earnestly ; get me a little island.”"—Argonaut. ed every Thursday, simultaneously in the United States, G ish Possessions. Title registered in U. S. Patent Office. $5.00 a year Additional postage to foreign countries in the Postal Union, $1.04 a year; le current copies, 10 cents, Back numbers, after three months nr, 25 cents, Issues prior to 1910 out of print The text and illustrations in Lire are copyrighted. For Reprint Rights in Great Britain apply to Lire, Rolls House, Breams Buildings, Fetter Lane, London, E. C., England. issue to be affected, Live is for sale by all newsdealers in Great Britain and may be obtained from boot- mall ‘the principal cities in the world. ‘The foreign trade supplied froa Live's London Office, Rolls House, Breams Buildings, London, E. C. No contribution will be returned unless accompanied by stamped and addressed does not hold itself responsible for the loss or non-return of unio ions. Notice of change of address should reach this office ten days prior to the dete of OW short can a short story be? Life, wishing to solve this Short problem, held recently a very Interesting contest. A prize of $1,000 Stories from was offered for the best original story ores. Life under 1,500 words in length, and second and third prizes of $500 and $250, In addition to these prizes, every story THE 81 PRIZE STORIES IN accepted by Life as good enough to “LIFE'S" SHORTEST STORY enter the competition was to be paid for ,, CONTEST — at the rate of ten cents for every word With an Introduction by under 1,500 words which the author did THOMAS L. MASSON notwrite! Thatis, a story of 1,499 words Managing Editor of ‘* Life’” would be worth 10 cents; astory of 500 Net $1.25 words woukl be worth $100, and so on, This unique contest aroused great interest among the best American short story writers. More than 30,000 MSS. were received by Life. Of these, 81 were selected as the best, and these are the stories which appear in this book. Eighty-one short stories, all under 1,500 words, vivid, unconventional, some by established writers and some by authors still unknown to the public, make this a book of unusual interest. Thomas L. Masson, the well known managing editor of Life and compiler of humorous anthologies, con- tributes an introduction. It cost Life more than $12,000 to collect these stories. The reader may have them for $1.25 net. By post, $1.36. LIFE. PUBLISHING COMPANY 17 West 31st Street, New York Dentist: wet, 11's out! Patient (waking up): BUT WHY HAVE YOU GOT IT IANGING OUTSIDE THE WINDOW ? comicbooks.com