Life — January 18, 1917 — page 34: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

- OURS FOOLISH | CONTEMPO ARIES Rebellion The nation’s daddies paid no tax That they could not afford. They gave a lot of teas the ax And dumped them overbcard. We recollect our dads and how They dumped those ancient teas. The public prints are running now To eggless recipes. —Lonisville Courier-Journal. Tue Lavy Vistror (to friend just mar- ried): So you are not getting tired of studio life, eh? Tue Artist's Wire: Good gracious, no! “It's most interesting. Jim paints, and I cook. Then the game is to guess what the things are meant for. —London Opinion. Wine Jolly when flavored with Abbott's Bittors ts made more dolightfal and healthful. Sample of bitters by mail, 25 cts, in stamps. C. W. Abbott & Co., Baltimore, Md. An admirer of Kipling suggests that the history of Balkan Diplomacy should be called “The Bungle Book.” —Tit-Bits. That Absorbine, Jr, would relieve Varicose Veins was discovered by an old gentleman who had suf- fered with swollen veins for nearly fity years. He hed made many unsuccessful efforts to get relief and fnally tied Absorbine, Je, knowing # value in te- ducing swellings, aches, pains and soreness. Absorbine, Jr relieved him, and after be had applied it regularly for a few weeks he told us that his legs were as smooth as when he was boy and all the pain and soreness had ceased. Thousands have since used this antiseptic lin- iment for this purpose with remarkably good results, Absorbine, Jn is made of ols and ex- tracts from | re bebe end hes gabbed upon the skin is quickly taken up by t Pores: the blood creslation in, surroun parts is thereby stimulated and. beal- Ee helped. 1.00 « Bottle is $i o Bot ‘at Draggists A LIBERAL TRIAL BOTTLE will be mailed perk ‘address for 10c in stamps. Book- ee. W. F. YOUNG, P. 307 Temple St., yerin: Seatag Oysters are fat—not tened”; juicy —not “floated”; natural—not “freshened” ;selected—notpro- miscuous.” A blue tag on every shell certifies purity, fresh- ness and flavor. At better Clubs, Hotels and markets. Military Precision A colonel in the French army who had a great eye for neatness, but not much of an ear for music, took occasion one day to compliment his bandmaster on the appearance of his men, “Their uni- forms are neat,” said the colonel, “and their instruments are nicely polished and kept in order, but there is one improve- ment that I must insist upon.” “What is it, colonel?” “You must train your men, when they perform, to lift their fingers all at exact- ly the same time and at regular intervals on their instruments, so—one, two, one, two! "—Argonaut, Two Lancashire men had a fishing match at Scarborough for half a sov- ereign a side. Qne of them, fancying he had a bite, was so eager about it that he fell head-first into the water. So the other man shouted out: “That's not fair, Bill! The bet's off. I can beat thee at fair fishing, but I'm not going to stand thee diving in after "em! "—Tit-Bits. “ Now, my girl, don't rush hastily into marriage. Marriage is a serious matter.” “T get you, grandma. It's no joke to go after a divorce and have to spend six months getting a residence in some far- away town.” —Louisville Courier-Journal. #f W# you walk into my parlor? said the spider to the fly, and the fly did, having noticed on the par- lor table the current issue of Lire, which the cunning spider had taken the pains to order in advance from his newsdealer. SEXOLOGY by William H. Walling, A.M., M.D. -AND ALWAYS WILL DE C. W. EVANS SONS, Madson,3.7. BACARDI tryi™ MAKES THE PERFECT COCKTAIL, HIGHBALL OR RICKEY. Folder containing recipes of fumous Bacardi driaks jailed on request D_ 8, DEJONGH, 127 Water Street, New York AUCTION BRIDGE $22: date co % {lesson 60 cents. Also personal instruction, n. AUCTION BRIDGE SCHOOL, 1400 BROADWAY, N.Y. Tet, @131 Groves comichooks.qog