Life — December 7, 1916 — page 50: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

1030 than they used to. Of course, this isn’t But I think he feels it to be treated in some quarters with sus- picion, just as if he were not the real thing that we know him to be. But after all, he’s so busy that he doesn't have much time to think of himself. But it’s shameful the way h- has been treated by some, and I think it is high time we did something about it. Fatner Time: Hight Ha! That reminds me of that cow, Ha, ha! Well, go on. I'm with you when it comes to doing anything about Santa Claus. What would you suggest? Moruer Goose: Just stop and think about him for a moment. Here, all these years, he has been working for others. Talk about Joy Spreaders! Why, he’s the only and original. He has gone his rounds year after year without a word of complaint, and I happen to know privately that he fre- quently suffers from rheumatism, but he asks no reward, and never has failed yet. Now we really ought to do something about it. Fatner Time: Right-o! My dear friend, you also are always thinking of others. Do you know, I always liked the way you ended that cow affair: “And the dish ran away with the spoon.” Could anything be better? If it had been a fork the story would have been spoiled. But a spoon! In fact, the whole story is so consistent throughout. Could there have been any better orchestra than a cat and a fiddle, or any better audience than a laughing dog? Not a superfluous word. And they point such a moral! You were speaking of Santa Claus. Morner Goose: Yes. My idea is to give him a little surprise party to- morrow. He never gets up until about noon on Christmas Day, because he is up so late the night before. 1 thought that a few of his friends and admirers might get together and 1 on him and present him with tes monials of our esteem Fatuer Ti : Splendid! We'll turn the tables on him. Delightful! Strange, no one has ever thought of that be- fore. Shows how selfish the world is, how wrapped up in its own affairs. Here, boy! Boy: Yes, Fatuer Time: Get down the tele- Christmas Life How Santa Appears TO WILLIE—AGE FIVE TO FATHER—AGE FORTY phone book and look up the numbers of the Honorable St. Valentine, Mon- sicur Cupid, the Misses Nine Muses, Mr. Sandman, The Pillow Fai Club, and—can you think of any more? Motuer Goo: Mercy! yes; we must certainly ask all the fairy god- mothers, and Cinderella, and Mrs. Bluebeard, and the Beautiful Prince, and the Sleeping Beauty, and Little Red Riding Hood, and Aladdin and w__ Ali Baba— = Fatner Time: Yes, and don't = forget Robinson Crusoe. II The Santa Claus cottage. ve-thirty Christmas Day. Santa Claus still lying in bed, with his night-cap over his cars. Loud knock- ing at the door. Santa Ciaus: What's that? (Turns over in bed, yawning.) It amuses me to hear people say I am dying out. Why, last night it took me longer than ever. My! what a wild night! I ran out of gasolene three times! Now I'm all in. (Knocking continues.) Who can that be? (Shouts.) What! A mob of people? One moment, friends. (Jumps out of bed and runs to window. Grabs his fur coat and puts it on. Opens door, Father Time, arm in arm with Mother Goose, followed by a vast com- pany of Immortals, cuters.) Fatner Time: My friend, ever since the generation of mankind, every year you have with unselfish devotion given up yourself, your time, your services, to the cause of childhood. Every year you have spread joy to millions, your- self contented if so many others were made happy by your presence. It seems to us all, therefore, that it is only fit- ting that we, your friends and ardent admirers among the Immortals, should for once do unto you as you yourself have done unto others. I have brought you a stocking full of nectar am- brosia, and — ahem! — a few other things which (Continued on page 1062)