Life — November 23, 1916 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“T shall take my children (if any) to Washington” ‘can ships be built in Altoororia?’ ‘To be honestly with you, I think can- not, renig Senator. ‘Good!’ holla Hon. Committee. ‘I do not believe in battleships. They make folks blood- thirsty, Therefore your drydock in Altoororia will be public bene factory.” With immediate quickness Hon. Sen: tor are given certified check on U. S. Treasury who are there for that pur- pose. As soonly as I make this conversa- tion considerable Japanese friends jump uply intending throw me down- stair. “You are speaking disrespects about Government,” snarrel Hon. Kamo Mackenzeki. “ Nextly you will be try- ing to blow up Senator Root and other sacred monuments. Why you so scorn about Treasur: “How you Miss Interpret me!” I submit. “I speak only admiration about that great institute. Hon. Sena- tor Aldrich spent lifetime trying to in- vent ideal banking system. If every bank were run like U. S. Treasury 1 would satisfy.” “How you should do it?” snuggest Hon. D. T. Bingo. “ Sipposingly 4 wish 50$ for my pov- erty like I do frequently. Therefore I go round to Brass Exchange Bank and walk-up to cash window. ‘How do?’ I say so, ‘I Senator Togo of Ways and Means Committee. I wish so$ for expense of life.’ ‘ Have you a Budget?’ ask Hon. Cash Man. ‘O surely yes have,’ I corrode while poking forth paper containing laundry list, rent, eat- able expense, shoes, cigarettes & etc to make s50$ price. ‘How I know you need this cash-money for bona fido reasons?’ Hon. Cash Man ask out. With immediate quickness I show him speech reprinted in Japanese School- boys’ Record telling how life are be- coming more expensive day-by-night and Togo cannot go on without more appropriations. ‘So sifficient!’ holla Hon. Banker and handout so$ in green.” “Such ideas seem brilliant but un- natural,” reject Hon. Nero Futumoto. “T have been in undertaking business for 23 years and I know it are harder to dig up cash from live persons than to plant dead ones. I should like to think of your financial system where wealthy payments is made for talk.” “Nothing in life can be so easy like that,” decry Hon. Mackenzeki. “T are not speaking of life—I are speaking of Washington,” are bright comet for me while we all went out- side feeling quite adjourned. Hoping you are the same, Yours truly Hasuimura Toco. The Age of Germs 'HERE have been towns of late where no children were to be seen. The schools were shut up, the play- grounds empty, the place as desolate of little folks as if some Pied Piper had led them all away. It was the reign of terror. These towns were in the grip of a hideous fear. “The plague is coming!” the doctors cried. “Keep your children behind bolts and bars or they will be lost to you!” Who dares set his faith against his fear when doctors bid him be afraid? We are always in the grip of one fear or another, for the doctors are a busy crew. Happily, however, it doesn't always hit the children so hard.