Life, 1916-11-23 · page 7 of 40
Life — November 23, 1916 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This satirical piece mocks Japanese financial practices through a fictional schoolboy's letters. The illustration shows a caricatured Japanese figure in formal dress, jumping enthusiastically. The satire targets what appears to be Japanese economic mismanagement, using the "schoolboy" device to present critiques as naive observations. References include: - **Hon. Bingo**: a fictional Japanese official representing Treasury/government - **U.S. Treasury/Finance System**: held up as superior to Japanese methods - **Department stores and credit schemes**: criticized as inherently dishonest The humor works by having the "innocent" schoolboy expose contradictions in Japanese economic claims—particularly that their system somehow builds character while U.S. methods don't. The piece satirizes both Japanese pretensions and American diplomatic relations with Japan during this era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
‘LIFE: Letters of a Japanese Schoolboy To Editor “ Life Irresponsible Illustra- tions” who can tell much truth by laughing at it, EAR Mr:— Japanese Thinking Society, of which I am a membership, collapsed to- gether last Fryday night at Patriots of Japan Hall. Hon. Nero Futumoto, Japanese undertaker, are now Boss Thinker for this organism because he are most talented man for peaceful ceremonies. Hon. Kamo Mackenzeki, Japanese editor, are Second Assistant Brain who help considerable by acting hypothetical. Hon. D. T. Bingo, Jap- anese bookkeeper, are treasury when there is. “Now that our minds are here,” commence Hon. Futumoto with rap- hammer to table, “around what topick shall we collect our thoughts?” “Firstly let us collect our dues,” narrate Hon. Bingo wallstreetfully. “Otherwisely we cannot rental this hall and must do our thinking out- doors where too much wind is al- ready.” I jump to my feetware with Al. Beveridge expression peculiar to speech. “Hon. Bingo have too wrong idea about treasuries,” I dictate for nobility. “Let him observe U. S. Treasury. That great Cash Dept do not stoop down to borra money from poor states- men. No 1000!! Poor statesmen borra money from Treasury while making glory with speeches. If you do not learn that U. S. Finance system you are not a patriot but merely stingy.” “TI would not run department store on such loose-tied method,” snigger Hon. Bingo from rebuke. “Not, you would not,” I relate. “ Department stores is invented selfish- ly to make money. U. S. Treasury are built unselfishly to spend it. When I are married to Miss Alice Furioki (which I expect to sometime when she obtain divorce from gentleman she are now engaged to) I shall take my chil- dren (if any) to Washington and show them Treasury Bldg as example The Togo Currency System of generosity what all youngly persons should understand. ‘There,’ I shall say so, ‘are greater benefactory than Hon. Carnegie.’ ‘Why so, Papa To- go? childly brain shall require. ‘ Be- cause thus,’ I retork, ‘Hon. Carnegie merely endows heroes while Hon. Treasury endows patriots.” “You are talking garbage,” snuggest Hon. Bingo with steam heated voice. “T should prefer teach my children economy by taking them to some natnl bank where money cannot be took out unless you got some in.” “T jump to my feetware” “So ha!" I romp disgustly. “ You have worked too long in Wall Street among distrust companies where folks are careful who they steal from. U. S. Treasury are too magnifluous for that; they carry on business on X Science principal—they do not examine your credit; they look at your soul.” “How could that be done?” require Arthur Kickahajama, missionary boy, who are spiritually enlarged and wish make $$ by it. “Sipposingly I was U. S. Senator from Kansas and wish obtain 1,000,000$ for self & home which need it. ward where do I always look while making speeches? Toward heaven, perhapsly? No! Toward U. S. Treas- ury. With front forefinger in button of frockaway coat I stand amidst patriot glares and thusly speech: ‘Gen- tlemen of Senate and colored hackmen in gallery, I wish speak word for ship- building interests of Altoororia, Kas. Humorists and other snakes has often- ly made lIaugh-talk about dryness of Kas. And with truth, Not. satisfied with scarceness of natural wet in that region, cruel laws has added dust to dryness by Prohibition, Cannot some- thing be done to make dryness of Kas useful to mankind & Republican Party? Answer is, Yes! Splandid dry-dock can be builded there where damaged battleships can be worked on without danger of getting wet. Therefore I snuggest—’ Hon: Senator from Ari- zona interrup illegally by jump-up. “Arizona got dryer climate for dryer drydocks that grows in Kas.’ ‘You are thinking of burdocks,’ logicate Hon. Kas Senator scornly. ‘I am owner of 1000 acres behind Pilfer’s Grocery Store where it have not rained since my boyhood, I defy Arizona to produce better site for waterless ship- building. (Silences from Arizona.) Therefore I snuggest appropriation of 1,000,000$ for neccessary dry-dock in Altoororia, Kas.’ Hon, Senator set down. ‘I refer that emation to Com- mittee on Inland Naval Defenses,’ re- port Hon. Senate Boss. Therefore he do.” “Do Hon. Senator obtain that 1,000,- ooo$?" require Arthur Kickahajama with greed expression of foreign mis- sions, With case peculiar to squirrel shell- ing peanuts,” I response. “ Hon, Com- mittee on Inland Navy meet together for talkover. Hon. Senator come be- fore them make explain. ‘Are ship- building plant suitable to your home- town?’ require Hon. Committee with eyeglasses. ‘Anything worth 1,000,- ooo$ are very now ing for Altoo- roria where my political suspenders are located,’ narrate U. S. Sen. ‘Hum!’ snuggest Hon. Committee, comicbooks.com