Life, 1916-11-23 · page 31 of 40
Life — November 23, 1916 — page 31: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**The Cartoon ("Does Distance Lend Enchantment?")** This is a humorous poem by Clinton Scollard about a man pursuing an uninterested woman named Minerva. He exhausts romantic stratagems—poetry, mysticism, star-gazing, literary allusions (Orlando, Hamlet)—all rejected coldly. Only when he adopts feminist views does she suddenly reciprocate, leading him to declare this year his "Millennium." The satire mocks the fashionable turn-of-century trend of men adopting progressive feminist positions as a courtship strategy, suggesting it's merely another calculated romantic "device" rather than genuine conviction. The joke's irony: genuine belief matters less than results. **Lower Section** A brief humorous anecdote about a sailor named Jack who misspells "Paint" as "Paynte" on a railing. When corrected, he admits he deliberately misspells it so nobody notices the error—absurdist logic that plays on working-class wit. **Advertisements occupy most of the page** (Williams' Shaving Soap, Listerine).
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
DOES DISTANCE LEND ENCHANTMENT? My Millennium YEAR ago I did not deem Minerva e’er would be More (in my very wildest dream) Than “sister” unto me. I exercised my subtlest powers; I was now meck, now bold, But even to the lure of flowers She turned a shoulder cold. I conjured every deft device That haunts a poet's head; Her smile suggested lemon ice Whene'er my rhymes I read, I conned the stars, each mystic sign, And palmistry I scanned, Thinking, the while, would it were mine To hold her little hand! No chance to win the maid escaped The workings of my brain, So first I fond Orlando aped, And then the moody Dane. he still was chilly as the snows; Ah, but my case was sad! I sketched her tiny turned-up nose All o'er my blotting-pad. At last, through inspiration’s twist, A radiant light 1 saw When I avowed me feminist, Behold, a sudden thaw! Now, when I greet her, o'er her face I see love's rapture come, And so I say this year of grace Is my Millennium! Clinton Scollard. Quick Easy Shaving Powder Sy Play safe! Shaving soaps are not grabbed out of the blue or created over night. Stick to Williams’, the soap with the 75- yearlead. That wonderful lather isn’tan accident. It’s the result of specializing on shaving soap for the big part of a century. Whether you preferto orsiftthe Powderfrom or squeeze the Cream or pour the Liquidfrom rubWilliams'fromthe the hinged-top can— from the big, generous the bottle— handy Holder-Top tube— ° Stick— you get Williams’ lather—the kind that scores a knock-out on every beard that grows and leaves a legacy of comfort behind. Williams’ Shaving Soap comes in several convenient forms: STICK, POWDER, CREAM, LIQUID and in round cakes Send 12 cents in stamps for a trial size of all four forms shown above, and then decide which you prefer. Or send 4 cents in stamps for any one. THE J. B. WILLIAMS COMPANY, Department A, Glastonbury, Conn, Add the fishing touch t0 your shave with Williams® luxurious Tele Poder An infected wound is usually a Sieict neglected wound. To prevent infection of euts and abrasions, promptly use LISTERINE The Safe Antiseptic Jack, who was a sailor, had one day been painting some railings, and had put under it, “ Whet Paynte.” A friend of his coming along, and knowing that Jack was by no means a good scholar, thought to take the rise out of him, and said: “You don't spell it that way, Jack.” But Jack answered him thus: “ Well, shure, don't I just know it; only, you see, if I spelt it right nobody would notice it.” —Tit-Bits, comicbooks.com