Life, 1916-09-21 · page 19 of 44
Life — September 21, 1916 — page 19: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page critiques both German Kaiser Wilhelm II and American newspaper magnate William Randolph Hearst. The illustration shows a woman (representing Germany) dancing with military officers, captioned "Her Dance." The article rebuts Hearst's argument that the Kaiser wouldn't have wanted war since Germany was already gaining through peaceful trade. The author uses a bathtub metaphor: the Kaiser "filled his tub and stripped"—building up military power and warmongering rhetoric—so he bears responsibility regardless of last-minute hesitation. The piece compares Germany's ambition to the Tower of Babel, suggesting obsessive efficiency blinded her to consequences. It dismisses Hearst's blame-shifting to Austria, Russia, and Japan, insisting Germany could have controlled events but didn't. The closing sarcastically suggests America's "only hope" is British naval power, implying American security depends on Britain's military dominance—a reference to WWI naval concerns.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
= — ee HER DANCE 489 The Kaiser in the War 'M. HEARST takes the view that “since no human being can point out anything which even victorious war would bring to Germany that she was not more rapidly acquiring by peaceful trade conquest, the German Emperor could not possibly desire war unless he were an imbecile.” The argument that the war is not good for Germany, therefore the Kaiser did not want it, is not convinc- ing. Possibly at the final pinch he didn’t want it, but he had nursed and fed up a war-party that did, and he had talked like a fool, off and on for many years, and had built up, by years of labor, the biggest and ablest mili- tary machine and the most elaborate and disgusting spy bureau that the world had ever seen. When a person fills a bathtub and takes his clothes off the assumption is that he intends to take a bath. In 1914 the Kaiser had his tub filled and all his clothes off. Very likely he shrunk at the last minute from get- ting in. Possibly he was tipped in by his war-party. But he did fill his tub and he did strip, and he has certainly had his bath. Mr. Hearst excuses Germany, Eng- land and France from blame for start- ing the war, and lays it to Austrian diplomats and to Russia and Japan, “two sinister despotisms that wanted Fudge! Germany could have pre- vented the war, and wouldn't. Aus- trian diplomats were doubtless to blame, but Germany could have con- trolled them, Germany cultivated long and dili- gently a diseased ambition that finally consumed her. It was the same way with the folks who built the Tower of Babel. They developed an immense efficiency, and got so engrossed in it that finally they couldn't understand what was said to them, nor even what they said to one another. Too bad about Germany! Too bad also about Hearst! All Join In UNTY DANIELS will now lead us in singing that grand old an- them, “God Save the British Fleet.” It is our only hope. comicbooks.com