Life, 1916-08-31 · page 22 of 34
Life — August 31, 1916 — page 22: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three satirical pieces from an era of American political debate (likely 1916, based on Hughes/Wilson references). **"A Voice for Child Slavery"** criticizes Senator Overman of North Carolina for defending child labor as beneficial ("keeps them out of mischief"), contrasting his position with Senator Works of California, who recounted the physical damage of his own childhood labor. The satire targets North Carolina's prioritization of industrial profits over children's welfare. **"Some Cut"** is a brief Irish-dialect joke mocking Colonel Goethals (who engineered the Panama Canal) by suggesting the Grand Canyon's formation rivals his achievement—absurdist humor deflating grand accomplishments. **"Ten Reasons Why I Cannot Vote for Hughes or Wilson"** satirizes voter indecision in the 1916 presidential election through circular logic: voting for either candidate either helps one or hurts the other, making choice futile. The remaining sections are miscellaneous editorial complaints and a marriage-proposal joke. The page reflects Progressive-era concerns about labor exploitation and political cynicism.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
‘LIFE* A Voice for Child Slavery Labor was a good thing for children. Senator Over- man argued, in effect. His contention was that it kept them out of mischief. VATOR OVERMAN represents North North Carolina, so far as we can judge from certain laws, does hate the sight of a happy child. ‘olina. And On the other hand: Senator Works of California told how he fared as a child laborer, He believed, he said, that he had never recovered from the hard work he did when he was a little boy. There were indelibly impressed on his mind, he went on reminiscently, the dark room in which he slept and how he would be awakened from the deep sleep of boyhood at four o'clock in the morning, often with his muscles so stiff that he could not walk without pain. But North Carofina is more interested in dividends than in damaged constitutions. Some Cut AFFERTY (viewing the Grand Canyon): How do it sthrike ye, Tim? Haccerty (a contractor): Faith, it sthrikes me Colonel Goethals has got nawthin’ to brag about. Who dug it? The flirt: Mow vo you LIKE MY NEW ENGAGEMENT RING? “FINE! WHEN DOES IT COME OFF?” THE DOVECOTE A Litany for Editors ROM contributors who send in manuscripts bearing no name or address, and no stamps for return; from those who send puns, rebuses, acrostics, riddles and suggestions for funny pictures, and accompany these with their photo- graphs; from those who send in anecdotes about Mr. Bryan and quotations from their favorite sermons; from our friends who tell us once a week how we could make the magazine really amusing; and from subscribers who delay to renew their subscriptions—good Lord, deliver us! Ten Reasons Why I Cannot Vote for Hughes or Wilson F I vote for Wilson I will help him to get elected. If I vote for Hughes I will prevent Wilson by so much from beating him. If I vote for either Hughes or Wilson one of them may be elected. Seven other reasons: I don’t like either of them. Preserving the Balance SUPPOSE the Supreme Court must do without Hughes. “Well! Their gain is our loss.” comicbooks.com