Life, 1916-08-10 · page 26 of 38
Life — August 10, 1916 — page 26: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page satirizes American pretension through two main pieces: **"Aspiration" (poem by A. Suferan Mann):** Mocks the widespread desire for honorific titles and ceremonial recognition. The poem parodies newspaper items about various minor figures being honored as "Dean" of their fields—a fictional "Dean of American Letters," "Dean of War Correspondents," etc. The speaker desperately wants *any* title ("I don't give a D what I'm DEAN of") if it means receiving a banquet in his honor. The satire targets both the vanity of those seeking such hollow titles and American culture's enthusiasm for bestowing them. **"Safety Makes for Benevolence":** Commentary on military presence affecting civic attitudes. It notes that El Paso's residents were hostile to pacifist Dr. David Starr Jordan, yet San Antonio—which hosts a major military post—takes a more "philosophical" stance toward Mexico. The joke: benevolence toward potential enemies increases when you have military superiority nearby. The accompanying cartoon "Concealed Weapons" appears to visualize hidden hostility masked by civility.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“EDP E = Aspiration (From the New York Bun) “PUNKERTON J. WATERBERRY, Dean of American Letters, was guest of honor at the annual banquet of the Bronx Browning Society last night.” (From the Boston Whirald) “Harrington Bildad Sikes, Dean of the New England Dramatic Critics, was dined last evening by the Back Bay Shakespeare-Bacon Club.” (From the Chicago Fibbune) “ Slithers Hackett, Dean of the Illinois War Correspond- ents, has accepted an honorary banquet tendered him by the Sons of the Spanish War, to be held at Peoria carly next month.” Oh, I want to be DEAN of Something, I don’t care a tuppenny what, That someone may give me a Banquet, with cloquence sizzling hot, And make me a notable hero, and dub me the King of my Kind, Though most of the world to my virtues has hitherto seemed to be blind. I'd like to be DEAN of the Plumbers, Head-Guy of the Pipe that is weak, And have hungry gathérings greet me as Kaiser of Solder and Leak; Or possibly DEAN of the Dancers, a-sliding all over the place, My toes as Saint Vitus’s nimble, and ecstasy writ on my face. Or maybe the DEAN of the Taxis, Main-Squeeze of the Rollicking Cab, Or DEAN of the Chaunccy-Depewsters, Post-Prandial Master of Gab; I don’t give a D what I'm DEAN of, as long as I glimpse the glad day When folks give a feed in my honor and cover my bean with bay! A, Sufferan Mann, HE RIVAL: marries her! penses! Come! I'll spin you a coin to see which The loser to pay the winner's divorce ex- CONCEALED WEAPONS Safety Makes for Benevolence 'HE voice of El Paso is for war. Last month the police begged Dr. David Starr Jordan, the pacifist, not to linger there, because opposition to war was so unpopular they said he would not be safe in El Paso. Not so in San Antonio, which has some spokesmen who scem to take towards Mexicans a philosophical attitude suitable to a town which has been for many years the seat of the largest military post in the United States. So it is. Benevolence towards Mexico is versely to the risk of being raided. El Paso’s nerves have been bad. Now that she has more troops next to her than San An- tonio her philosophy may improve. THE EVOLUTION OF THE DOVE