Life — August 3, 1916 — page 36: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ne LIFE ee ee ee eee Stop CheatingYourself $60,000,000 is lost by ‘phone users every year. Save your share with The Phone-@ Meter A Modern Statistical Psycholog- ical Romance ILL you marry me,” he asked, “in five years from the coming tenth of June?” She looked at him interrogatively, as every respectable heroine would have done in the distressing circumstances. “ Before giving you a definite reply,” she said, indly explain the exact reasons for the dela: v «ccd vvVvV WANDERLUST HROUGHOUT the en- tire land, Alaska and Ha- waii too, the wanderer finds Wells Fargo Travelers Checks as good as gold. “T shall be most happy to do so. I am at present receiving a salary of $25.00 a week. According to statistics among 5,000 college graduates, who, at my age, received the same. salary, 3,000 doubled their salary in two years, and in two ycars more doubled that. But, as my standing at college was 8% per cent. lower than the average of those 5,000, I am adding a year Now, according to the exhaus- tive figures of the Underwriters Loga- rithm Association of East Peoria, out of 5,000 marriages where the groom was receiving $5,000 a year, over 4,000 were happy. But, under this amount, out of 5,000, only 2,300 were happy. Thus, you see that the question of our happiness is purely economic. I love you madly, nay, passionately, but I must restrain myself for five years in order to come within the social law. Will you wait “T find,” she replied, “ upon consult- ing the remarkable results achieved by the Amalgamated Psychologie Cerebral Safe, convenient, economical, of course. They are sold in denominations of $10, $20, $50, $100 or $200, at a pre- mium of one-half cent on each dollar, How Long Is Three Minutes ? with a minimum charge of ten cents, If youusethe telephone, it's avital thing for youtoknow. Only one man in 12,000 can make good guess of three minutes, but several million “long distance’ users waste Sixty Million Dollars every year trying to guess it. Their cate eoremes only | 1% minutes sharing this loss. The Phone-Meter proves it. te checks interraptons. settles dlaputcs and gives ou s square Place a Phone-Meter on your desk and sto) susssing; ance the time ved. “You'l i be shock: Wells Fargo Express Service is per- sonal, immediate, safe. Use it for your packages. WELLS FARGO Yravelers Checks Ask the nearest Wells Fargo man or send to 51 rs oadnneys New York, for booklet ‘Travel ‘und. ica Company; DuPont PowderCo. They have youata disadvantage. On receipt of price, or an authorized order from an: rated firm, a Phone-Meter will come to you Unless it convicts you of I Reider ney. return i 7) Gon-Metal Finish, Hardwood Bi e, Presid French Leather Incased, Prep: ‘eed tor Tree Donblet GRAVES TIMING DEVICE oO. ” MOTHERSILL’S | ‘SEASICK REMEDY, The Thing for Trainsickness | AT ALL. LEADING ORUGGISTS | Compulsory Treatment Compulsory examination of school children is but preliminary to compulsory treatment, for of what use is an exam- ination if it stops there! When this next step is taken it will include adults as well as children, The treatment will be allopathic and you will have nothing (absoletely brut) to say in the matter. It will be as it is “Extra Dry” to-day with the various vaccinations that (medi) Statistical Bureau that out of 4,000 blondes weighing 124 pounds and av- eraging 70 per cent. in beauty, 3,000 Champagne Beat Special 1290" *'Special Reserve” who waited five years for suitors whose sole object in getting married was to consider the happiness of the one they were going arry, only Produced by the old French mM WEES Bens SY RAT, ONY oto metl of fermentation 10 per cent. waited and over 80 per ith ae : : cent. married clsewhere within one in the bottle taking from ay year. But, as I am about 74 per cent fo seven years of time. below the average of beauty in the Great Western is the Only 4,000, I estimate that I shall be led to American Champagne ever the altar by a handsome man with at B) orien Sela aiedal at least $100,000 within two years. Sorry. oe : When you go out kindly see that the Paris Exposition, 1900, France | latch of the screen door is well fas- Paris Exposition, 1889, France snedibehind you?” Bruxelles Exposition, 1910, Belgium tent chind you. Vieona Exposition, 1873, Austria Bruxelles Exposition, 1897, Belgium Paris Exposition, 1867, France Write for our tree Iinstrated Booklet are forced on you whether you believe in them or not. The plea of “ protecting the public health” is a powerfur one, but the real question is, Are these men protecting the public health? They cer- tainly have not protected the cattle, sheep or other domestic animals by the same means they employ on the public. Is it reasonable to think that humans are escaping harm?—Homeopathic Envoy. “T surrosr you know all about rail- roads, banking and currency and kindred subjects? RRESTED for speeding, ch? We tohich tells how Champigne ts made, don’t blame you. All the same, if Pleasant Valley Wine Compan: you had given your newsdealer a Rhsine, WY Rany standing order for Live you wouldn't Oldest and d largest producers of Champagne in America have been in such a hurry to get to him before he sold out. replied Senator Sorghum. “If I studied all those things, I'd have so little time to make speeches that my con- stituents would think I was neglecting my business."—Iashington Star. comicbooks.com