Life — August 3, 1916 — page 35: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“LIFE: Ge BILTMORE 43rd and 44th Sts. and Madison Ave. The Centre of Social Life of the Metropolis Close to theatres and shops. The Cascades, lian sunken gardens. Special features, Afternoon tea Orchestra Dancing Future Fiction LAS! this Mexican imbroglio! Alack! its aftermath—an olio Of wild, pimento-flavored stories To celebrate our martial glorics! And, well-a-day! the lurid diction Of coming hot-tamale fiction! That proud hidalgo, Don Antonio Of Rancheria Alimonio, Shall have a daughter—Senorita Dolores—Inez—no, Juanita. To them shall ride a young lieutenant Beneath the hated Gringo pennant. The proud hidalgo and his daughter Shall grant the fellow food and water, And yet, as far as that is lawful, Shall snub their guest—oh, something awful! The young licutenant, Robert Hadley, Shall love the dark Juanita madly. Before his heart has burst asunder Shall come a party bent on plunder— A gang of outlaws; and the bandit José Tabasco shall command it. José shall seize the senorita And bear her hillward—pobrecita ! But, speeding swifter than a swallow, Lieutenant Robert H. shall follow, Concluding then a lively fracas At Guadalupe or Zacatecas, Licutenant Bob shall spit the Greaser And leave him dead as_Julius Caesar; When you shall have what you are dreading, An invitation to a wedding. Hermoso! rodeo mantilla Sombrero Santa Rosa Villa; Frijoles, matador Gonzago Caramba poncho Santiago! Arthur Guiterman, Rules for the Unfortunate ANY people start out in life not knowing how unfortunate they ean be if they only learn how early enough. The following rules will be found of great benefit: Go with unfortunate people. They will not only carry you along in their own atmosphere, but they will inspire you to do unfortunate things you probably would not have thought of without them. Have faith in unfortunate happenings. bound to end. Remember that every streak of good luck is Look downward, not upward; sideways, not straight ahead. Have a grouch, Why tires prematurely How Prodium Process Rubber eliminates the principal cause of this chief of tire troubles In good tires most blow-outs are caused hy rotted fabric, and fabric rots because cuts in the tire tread expose it to water, oil, mud, ete. Republic Tire builders have overcome this difficulty by making a tread stock so tough that even sharp stones and fresh-crushed rock do not gash or cut it. This tread stock is Prodium Process Rubber, a new compound discovered and controlled exclusively by The Republic Rubber Com- pany. It wears down as evenly as fine steel, is heat-proof, oil-proof, almost wear-proof. blow out Stylish SPA GGARp Black Tread Trade Mark Keg. U.S. Pat. OF. Republic Prodium Process Tires can now be had in the stylish black tread, so much in vogue among motorists. In the Staggard Tread or W. M. Tread non-skid styles, this new rubber furnishes immunity from. skid- ding possessed by no other tire. And even the plain tread style has remarkable anti- skid qualities. Write for sample strip of this wonderful rubber, and test its great strength yourself THE REPUBLIC RUBBER COMPANY, Youngstown, Ohio Branches and agencies in the principal cities REPUBLIC 23ci33 TIRES Republic Black-Line Red Inner Tubes give greatest service and satisfaction,