Life — July 20, 1916 — page 38: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LIFE The Waitress 'AITRESSES are of many and divers kinds, There is the dis- appearing waitress, who goes out of the room at the one-important mo- ment, just when you need her most, and doesn’t come back. It is useless to attempt to break her of this habit. It is fundamental. She's of the dis- appearing genus, and she doesn’t come back when you want her, and that is all that any scientist, biologist or psy- chologist will ever make out of it. Then there is the never-quite-ready waitress, There is always a last- missing spoon for her to: lay on the table, or the napkins have been for- gotten. She goes around the table and forgets things systematically—by a sort of rule. Then—to be somewhat zoological for the moment—there is the startled- deer waitress, the kind who always my distinctive flavor of Budweiser comes from mltoaie ‘enuine Saazer Hops ceexclusively Uma ts ‘ood value comes from fine, nutritious malt. Brewing and brew- ery cleanliness and pas~ teurijation gi germiess purity. ive it its oy 2 other beverages offer you as much “as this in’ food value~no other food (liquid or solid) offers you more than ‘this in purity and wholesomeness. Budweiser Bottled at the Brewery ANHEUSER-BUSCH, st. LOuIs. ¢ The frosted wine bottle is submitted for your approval because you know that proper cool- ing is as important as vintage. Extend the same care to the serv- ing of Club Cocktails andtheinimitable flavor will come to you un- spoiled by dilution. Don’t shake with fine ice. Pour over large lumps,or chill the bottle. G. F. HEUBLEIN & BRO. Hartford New York London importers of the Famous BRAND'S A-1 SAUCE jumps like a startled deer when you speak to her. The worst of it is, that underneath it all this gentle creature has such a kind heart! If you were sick in the attic, with a houseful of company and she had to trot upstairs three times a day with a large leaden tray, sprayed with silver plate and full of titillating grucls, she wouldn't complain. But she always startles like a deer when you speak to her un- awares, and Gabriel and all the hosts of heaven couldn't break her of it. There are also other kinds of wait- resses; the bog-trotting kind, who lope around the table, and in some strange, uncanny and weird fashion have a way of seeming methodically and apologetically to drop their heels on the floor, There is the kind who never did things your way be- fore, and she has lived with the very best in the land, too; the kind whose mistress was always so good to her and made her a present of a gold watch and chain on Christmas Day; the kind where the husband in her last place was always such a “ perfect gentleman”; the clattering waitress, the slower-than-cold-molasses waitress, and the waitress who does fairly well when there is no one to dinner, but when you have company always gets rattled and disgraces you at the crit- ical moment. Then, of course, there is the per- fect waitress. The first day she comes you are afraid to speak for fear that something will happen. All is sub- | | | | comicbooks.com