Life, 1916-07-20 · page 34 of 44
Life — July 20, 1916 — page 34: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three separate humorous pieces typical of early 20th-century American satire: **"Sounds New Yorkish"** depicts two city councilors discussing street maintenance with absurd circular logic—pave a street, dig it up for sewers, repave it, dig it up for gas pipes, then widen it. The joke satirizes municipal inefficiency and wasteful government spending through repetitive, pointless cycles of work. **The piano lesson anecdote** mocks a student's inability to afford "slow music" lessons due to expense, suggesting economic desperation forces even cultural pursuits toward rushed, showy performances rather than refined technique. **"Taking Things Easy"** presents Southern rural laziness through dialect humor, where a woman won't even turn to watch a funeral procession, finding the effort unnecessary. The page is primarily **advertising** (Hudson River steamships, X-Bazin depilatory, Krementz collar buttons), with these satirical pieces interspersed—typical Life magazine format of the era blending humor with commercial content.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Sounds New Yorkish First Councittor: Here's a fine-look- ing street. Secon Ditto: You're right. the best thing to do with it? “ Let's have it dug up for a sewer.” “But wouldn't it be proper to pave it first?” “Of course; I thought you would un- derstand that. Then, after it is paved and a drain put in, we'll have it repaved.” “All in readiness to be dug up again for the gas pipe? I see you understand the principles of municipal economy. And after we have had it repaved for the second time, then what?” “Well, then it will be ready for widen- ing. There's nothing I admire so much as system in the care and improvement of our roadways."—Pall Mall Gazette. What's Ossir Ganritowitscu, the pianist, tells the story of a pupil who came to Harold Bauer and asked his terms for lessons. After the fourth lesson he said to her: “Why, madame, do you always bring rhapsodies, etudes, swift music? Why not a quiet number, something that shows your phrasing—some Andante?” “Mr. Bauer,” replied the pupil, “ your lessons are too expensive—I can't afford to play the slow music."—Argonaut. BEAUTIFUL THAN SUNRISE IN SPR Gusher: om, 1 Couto Just warcit 17 ALL DAY LONG Taking Things Easy “In the southern part of Arkansas, says Senator Overman, “where the natives take things easy, a man and his wife were sitting on their porch, when a funeral procession passed the house. The man was comfortably seated in a chair that was tilted back against the house, and was whittling a piece of wood. As the procession passed, he said: “*T reckon ol’ man Williams has got about the biggest funeral that’s ever been held around hyer, Caroline.’ "A purty good-sized one, is it, Bud?’ queried the wife, making no effort to move. “*Certainly is!’ Bud answered. “*T surely would like to see it,’ said the woman. ‘What a pity I ain't facin’ that _way!’"—Youth's Companion, A story of a Cockney who was aided by Chaplain Mellish, recently awarded the V.C., is worth repeating, because it is the best tribute to the chaplain that could be put on record. When the wounded man, who had hitherto been noted for his anti-religious bias, was safe in the base hospital, he told his mates how he had been saved, and asked, “What religion is 'e?"” He was told, and made the answer: “Well, I'm the same as ‘im now, and the bloke what ses a word agen our Church will ‘ave ‘is ‘ed bashed in, —Tit-Bits. Lire is for sale by all newsdealers in Great Britain and may be obtained from book: sellers in all the principal cities in the world. The foreign trade supplied from Live's London Office, Rolls House, Breams Buildings, London, E. C. ‘0 contribution will be returned unless accompanied by stamped and addressed envelope. Lire does not hold itself responsible for the loss or non-return of unio- licited contributions. Prompt notification should be sent by subscribers of any change of address. Kement3 Figure first the wear you will get out of your collar button—then the cost Krementz 14 Kt Rolled Collar Buttons . lifetime Sold yith guarantee:— If damaged from any cause, anew button free.” "Write for booklet. KREMENTZ & CO. ‘$4 Chestuat Newark, wat «every Thursday, simultaneously in the United States, Great Britain, Lire is publis Canada and British Possessions. "$5.00 a year in advance. itional postage to foreign countries in the Postal Union, $1.04 a year; to Canada, s2 cents. Single cur- rent ‘copies, 10 cents. Back numbers, alter three months from date of publication, Issues prior to 1910 out of print. The tert and illustrations in Lire are copvrighte For Reprint Rights in Great Britain apply to Live, Rolls House, Breams Buildings, af etter Lanc, London, E. C., England. Hudson River by Daylight A world-famous trip on world-famous steamers be- tween New York and Albany. “Washington Irving” ‘Hendrick Hudson” “Robert Fulton” “Albany” Service daily except Sunda Music. Resurant Through ‘ork and LL unwekome hair on arms or face removed instantly with one application of this famous prepara- tion In Paris and New York, fa- . mous beauties have used it the past ites heeees | New Ye 75 years, with approval of physi- Send ae ‘cents for illustrated cians and dermatologists. SOc and Sucae bees $1. Try jt. But refuse cheap, pape ai had dangerous substitutes. Hudson River X-B AZIN Day c DEPILATORY POWDER Desbrosses St. Pier If your druggist does not New York keep it, send direct to HALL & RUCKEL 223 Washington Street New York