Life, 1916-04-20 · page 40 of 52
Life — April 20, 1916 — page 40: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three distinct pieces of content: **Clicquot Club Ginger Ale Advertisement**: A full-page ad promoting the beverage as "Quality Ginger Ale of America," emphasizing its carbonation and mixing qualities. The image shows a bottle with decorative background. **"Declined with Thanks" Satire**: A humorous fake rejection letter to William Shakespeare regarding his play *Hamlet*, written in pseudo-archaic language. It mockingly mimics standard publisher rejection letters, implying even Shakespeare's masterpiece would be rejected by modern publishers—a joke about editorial gatekeeping and changing tastes. **"Impossible Conversations"**: A satirical dialogue between a wealthy philanthropist woman and a railroad magnate discussing their attitudes toward "the masses." The satire exposes their hypocrisy: she claims moral concern for the poor while maintaining social distance; he admits exploiting workers while claiming to be a "benefactor." The conversation reveals that both use the poor instrumentally—as backdrop for social activities or profit—rather than genuinely helping them. The page also advertises Haidee cigarettes and performing rights for "Children of the Bard."
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
: BY Clicquot Club Ginger Ale by the case from your grocer or druggist. Keepiton ice. Let each member The first of the family treat himself whenever he wishes. bottle, with its high carbonation, delicate flavoring and pen- etrating wetness, willexplain why Clicquot Club has walked away with the reputation for being the Quality Ginger Ale of America. Winner of Medal of Honor, Panama-Pacific Exposition. Clicquot mixes better than charged water in every sort of a drink where charged water would be used. It’s Pronounced Klee-ko THE CLICQUOT CLUB COMPANY, MILLIS, MASS.|’ “ Declined with Thanks” THE following letter has just been unearthed in the collection of a London antiquarian: To Willm. Shakespeare, ye Signe of ye Bore’s Hedde. Yr ms. of a playe yclept Hamlet hath been redde by oure reder of mss. & hath proven unacceptable. We praye you noate yt ye returnyng of anye ms. doth notte implye yt it is notte a goodlye product, but onely yt it hath notte beene found entyrely suitable toe oure neades. We have ye honoure toc remayne, Yr humble sarvent, Zeicuer & GOLDMARKE. Performing Rights of CHILDREN OF THE BARD on page 758 of this issue of LIFE, may be had on application to the undersigned. Acting edition, with additional text and full stage directions, suitable for professional and amateur use, for schools, societies, lodges, etc., sent postpaid on receipt of Twenty-five Cents. PROBONO PUBLISHING COMPANY 17 West 3ist Street New York City Impossible Conversations “ ARE you interested in the masses?” She was the president of one cthical society, one church guild, chair- man of a committee on slums and had a house in town and a camp in the Adirondacks. He was a magnate who had started in as a Wall Street broker and put through enough railroad deals to make himself a multimillionaire. “Mildly, Are you?” “They furnish a method of killing time, which is valuable. When I come near to them and am a witness to the misery and suffering amongst them— frankly, it stirs me.” “But not in the way that you think.” “Possibly not. I would make them better if I could.” “But would you sacrifice yourself to make them better?” “Certainly not. Why should 1? 1 am not responsible for them. Are you?” He winced. “T really don't know. Sometimes I think Tam. Then I think I am an actual benefactor.” “But I really feel grateful, you know, to the masses. They make such a splendid background for one’s social activities. But you must answer also. Would you sacrifice yourself for them?” He smiled faintly “Thave,” he replied. “I have sacri- ficed pretty much everything inside of me in order to exploit them, They support us both.” She shook her head. onsense!"” she replied. “ They may support you — but you support HA Gold Tipped CIGARETTES PARFUMEES You appreciate with joy heir appearance—and with rapture taste their flav exquisite 501 “The Soctety Smok 28 for 19 in the comicbooks.com