Life, 1916-04-06 · page 8 of 80
Life — April 6, 1916 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two advertisements (Perrier water and Cascade whisky) and two pieces of satirical content. **"The Banker"** is a humorous poem by Arthur Guiterman mocking bankers' mysterious work with money, exchanges, and arbitrage—suggesting even the poet doesn't understand what bankers actually do. **"Lo and Behold"** is a satirical commentary on the U.S. Constitution, arguing it's poorly written and overly complex. The author contends that the Constitution's actual guarantees are vague while its prohibitions are clear, forcing judges and lawyers into constant misinterpretation. This suggests the Constitution's design creates unnecessary legal confusion. **"The Sunday Guest"** cartoon shows a domestic scene where Tommy complains about being served white meat, saying he hopes it "doesn't like white meat"—likely a joke about children's typical food preferences.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
. The Banker HE Job for which I never hanker Is that of him they call a Banker, fetishes Le Who gets cartooned in Silk Top-hats, Fy i aa pred White Whiskers, Waistcoats, Shirts and Spats; Who perspicaciously arranges Some Mysteries yclept “ Exchanges” And “ Arbitrage” and “ Drafts,” and lends Your Cash and mine to Business Friends. To sit like him and ’tend to Banking, With all that Money clinking-clanking, Would try, I'm sure, the Man of Uz,— Besides, I don’t know what he does. Arthur Guiterman, REN i Naruray, Lo and Behold TABLE EE the Constitution! Yes. What a pretentious and pompous Constitution WATER it is! What is the object of the Constitution? an ois The object of the Constitution is to write down certai HE most unprejudiced thing in the world fora sigh-ctass High- oD) I Is c de in : i : bali—say PERRIER. fundamental principles. for the guidance of contemporarics is a refined palate, and American epicures and posterity. were quick to acknowledge the subtle superi- 4 Does it succeed in that effort? ority of Perrier Water—the crystal-pure spark- ( Only to a slight degree. The Constitution is so full of J guile and so poorly written and in such abstract terms that nobody but the judges and lawyers can understand it, ling natural water that has so quickly captured the epicurean blue ribbon. ay and no two of them understand it the same way. There is no saltiness in Perrier, the great reason 1 Doesn't that make the whole situation rather annoying? why it combines so perfectly with Wines and | Noi for the laws 1 jud They thriv, fe Spirits. Not for the lawyers and judges. ey thrive on mis Obtainable at all high-class Hotels, Restaurants, understandings. The more misunderstandings there are and Grocers. the more judges and lawyers are required to engage in Penmien, LTD. cay & (24 St. No Wemeere Bide. Faas wet them. Of course, they must all be paid, and the more adept a lawyer or judge is in misunderstanding a simple proposition the better pay he can command. Surely you do not blame that upon the Constitution. Oh, no. That would be foolish when there are so many other things for which the Constitution is blameworthy. What do you consider the chief defects of the Con- stitution? The chief defects of the Constitution, as any one can plainly see from a few days’ reading of our newspapers, are that the things which the Constitution specifically pro- hibits are constantly recurring, and the things that it specifically guarantees are very difficult to find. PURE] WHISKY UST as Nature must depend upon 8 combination of fine things to make a striking landscape, so does Cascade combine supesior elements and natural treatment to produce its goodness Original B ing has Old Gold Label. GEO. A. DICKEL & CO., Distillers Nashville, Tenn. BL THE SUNDAY GUEST Tommy: GEE WHIZ! 1 HOPE HE DOESN'T LIKE WHITE MEAT’ comicbooks.com