Life, 1916-04-06 · page 78 of 80
Life — April 6, 1916 — page 78: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three distinct pieces: **Union Pacific Railroad Advertisement** (left): A large commercial ad promoting smooth rail travel. The image shows a train on tracks, and the copy emphasizes comfort, claiming nine million tons of granite ballast from the Laramie Mountains creates an exceptionally smooth ride—"like a limousine on the boulevard." **"Haste in Marrying"** (bottom left): A brief essay arguing that the proverb "marry in haste, repent at leisure" is false. The author suggests people who marry quickly stay too busy to repent, which he endorses as healthy for marriage. **"Rule or Ruin"** (right): A satirical commentary on medical gatekeeping. It describes a Knox College student denied osteopathic treatment at a St. Louis hospital, despite parents' hopes. The piece critiques the medical establishment's exclusion of osteopaths, suggesting organized medicine fears competition and wants to suppress alternative practitioners who challenge conventional drug-based treatment. **Two brief jokes** about city sizes and an advertisement for Old Overholt whiskey complete the page.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
N° ride in the world is smoother than this. Nine million tons of red granite, weathered into billions of tiny, resilient cubes, dug from the summit of the Laramie Mountains and spread over the lines of the Union Pacific, give this system a roadbed which never has been excelled. Because of this ballast—together with freedom from curves and great care in handling trains—a ride on the Union Pacific is like a limousine on the boulevard. If you never have used this railroad you have some- thing to learn about traveling comfort. UNION PACIFIC SYSTEM Joins East and West with a Boulevard of Steel Gerrit Fort, Pamenger Traffic Manager Union Pacific syatem ‘Chicago, Hh Haste in Marrying ARRY in haste and repent at leisure” isn't at all typically true. “ Marry in aste and get acquainted at leisure” is much truer. If, after this, wives and husbands haven't sense enough to apply what they have learned, then let them repent, not their marriages, but the failure of their ancestors to endow them with brains. Marry in ha:te and repent at leisure” is questionable from a material stand- point also. When one marries in haste, the chances are that one will thereafter be too busy to have leisure in which to repent. This is not offered as an objection to marriage: on the contrary, it is just as it should be. If you sce a life of leisure before you, don’t get married at all. Rule or Ruin N a football game a student of Knox College suffered a dislocated verte- bra. He was taken to the municipal hospital of the city of St. Louis. The last hope of the boy's parents was osteopathic treatment. When, how- ever, two osteopathic practitioners appeared at the hospital they were refused admittance. The mayor and di- rector of public welfare were appealed to, and in the student's dying hours the osteopaths were admitted, allhough the visiting staff of the hospital threat- ened to resign. It was more than the merely embar- rassing possibility that they might be successful that caused the exclusion of these practitioners. Hippocrates is supposed to have said that he “ shud- dered to think what would happen to the medical profession when tle pub- lic became aware of the futility of drugs.” The osteopaths committed the heresy of belonging 10 a school which is very much “aware of the futility of drugs.” Ellison Hoowr. Superior HICAGO LITTLE BOY: Chicago is an awful big place. Why. it's even got suburbs. New York Littte Boy: Huh! that’s nothing. New York's suburbs have got suburbs! HosFrrars use nothing but bottled-in-bond whiskey, and the brands chosen are judged by their purity and strength as well. Old Overholt Rye “Same for 100 years" is the choice of most hos- ff Pitals, which attests to the merits of this pure, excep- tional rye. Aged in the wood and bottled in bond, the favorite of a century. A. OVERHOLT & CO, Pittsburgh, Pa, comicbooks.com