Life, 1916-04-06 · page 52 of 80
Life — April 6, 1916 — page 52: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**"A Crying Need"** argues satirically that government officials should require training like other professions. The piece criticizes unqualified politicians occupying high office, suggesting a training school for Presidents run by ex-Presidents would prevent them from making speeches and writing for magazines—a jab at their self-promotion. **"Those Easter Belles"** is a darker satire by Henry Oldys condemning the fashion trend of wearing feathered hats. The poem details the violence behind decorative plumes: killed birds, wounded victims, scalped bodies, and orphaned babies—suggesting wealthy women's vanity comes at brutal cost. The implication appears to reference both wildlife slaughter and possible colonial/imperial violence. **The "Anthem" cartoon** shows elegantly dressed women, captioned with Solomon's biblical line about glory and raiment, sarcastically equating fashionable Easter bonnets with biblical splendor—mocking excess and materialism. These pieces mock American politicians' incompetence and women's frivolous fashion choices as socially irresponsible.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
——— \ FUTURIST SUBURBANITES AT TRAIN TIME A Crying Need HY not have trained Presidents? Does it not seem ridiculous that the highest offices in the land should be occupied by so many who are so unfitted for them, while no one is permitted to engage in the humblest of them without preliminary training? A plumber has to be trained; so do a carpenter, a stenographer, a school- . teacher, a doctor and a telephone oper- ator. If we have trained nurses, why not trained Congressmen? If trained Congressmen, why not a trained Presi- dent? There ought to be a training-school for future government officials, where they could be trained from youth to be honest, to mind their own business, and in the etiquette and form of their surroundings. There would be no more lawyers then trying to run the government. This alone would pay for the school. No man can be a postman without passing a civil-service examination— why not a President? Why not a Congressman? Our Congressmen and Senators ought to be able to read and write, anyway. As for our Presidents of the future, think of what a gain there would be if they were subjected to a preliminary training. A school. for Presidents could be placed under the charge of our .ex-Presidents.: :This would keep them: from making speeches and writ- ing for the magazines. Those Easter Belles 'HOSE Easter belles! Those Easter belles! «How many a tale their headgear tells! Of forests ravaged by bloody thieves; Of bodies dropping like autumn leaves ; Of scalps torn roughly from wounded backs ; Of dripping plumes in heaping stacks; Of babies, reft of parental care, Doomed to perish in dark despair ; Of merciless deeds—could you behold, 'Twould make your woman's blood run cold— Wounded victims, securely bound, Placed as decoys on the reeking ground— Hear their agonizing cries, As ants devour their living eyes! These are the tales those feathers tell That deck the head of the Easter belle. Henry Oldys. “YY HERE are you going to spend your vacation?” “In Europe.” “Europe! Why, my dear fellow, that’s awful.” “Thad to choose between that and an American summer resort.” ANTHEM “SOLOMON IN ALL HIS GLORY WAS NOT ARRAYED LIKE ONE OF THESE” comicbooks.com